Creature of Extraordinary Grace
by RomanceGuru
Summary: River is torn between two loves, ultimately, who will win her heart? Complete. Maliver and Rayne.:D R
1. Chapter 1

Title: Creature of Extraordinary Grace

Author: Romanceguru

Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I am but a lowly subservient.

Rating: NC-17 (My first of this rating)

Summary: Post BDM. "It feels good to be needed." Mal/River and … Well, you'll have to just see won't you!

Notes: I challenged myself to write something outside of my favorite OTP comfort zone (because I'm crazed), and this is what resulted. Please let me know what you think.

Beta done by the wonderfully clever and magnificent elsibet34.

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She came one night, her face full of tears and shaking like a leaf. He wrapped her up in his arms and soothed her with shushes and strokes to her long, soft hair. After all, it seemed the natural thing to do. When she asked through uncontrollable sobs if she could stay, he hesitated, but she clung tighter, like if he were to dismiss her from his bunk she'd shatter into a million pieces.

So that night he allowed a trembling, hiccupping, petite little thing to fall asleep nudged alongside him. It was the first time he had a girl in his arms since…well, that's a memory he cared not to remember.

It felt foreign but at the same time comforting, feeling the weight of the girl's head resting on his chest, small hand still grasping onto his shirt. Strangest thing of it all, it was the first time in a long while the captain slept the whole night through.

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Every night after that like clockwork he would hear the click of his hatch opening and the clunk of it being firmly closed. He'd wait the minute or so it took for the girl to descend into his pitch-black bunk, and he'd pull back the covers, allowing her to slip in beside him.

Sometimes his heart would race in anticipation, waiting for the still of midnight to arrive along with her. Other than a long leg thrown over his middle, a face nuzzled in his neck, or waking up pressed awkwardly into her back side, they didn't cross that blurry line.

It was after all a mutually beneficial arrangement. They brought each other peace, comfort, and much needed rest.

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That is until the night she didn't show. He tossed and turned through the hours of darkness, was tempted more than once to go hunt her down, throw her over his shoulders and carry her back to his lair.

Then he wondered if something happened. Panic and possible scenarios for her absence briefly visited before he concluded she probably didn't need him anymore. Trouble was, he needed her.

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The next morning in the empty mess, he was a zombie feigning through the motions of normalcy. His eyes felt strained and dry. He was hoping the black coffee he was sipping would alleviate the drunken-dizzy feeling that accompanied lack of sleep.

Then she floated in looking all manner of cute and slid into the empty seat next to him. She propped her chin in her hands and looked at him curiously.

"How'd you sleep?"

He just shot her a look with blood shot eyes that said _isn't it obvious_?

"You need me." River half stated and questioned.

"Yes." he replied honestly.

River leaned in closer, her lips inches from his ear, her breath sending tingles rippling through out his skin. "You want me."

Mal shuddered at the unexpected seductiveness in her voice and his mind went numb. He didn't aim to want her, desire this pretty little thing half his age. He felt like a dirty _lao hun_. However, the truth of things was, she was right. I'm a bad man, he thought.

"Mal. Bad in the Latin, but pure in heart." River leaned over and left a soft lingering kiss on his cheek and smiled prettily. "See you tonight." And she was gone, leaving him mindlessly tracing his fingers over the spot she had kissed him.

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Mal was on the edge, ready to slip into the abyss of sleep, his arms filled with little, killer girl when he felt a small hand snake down his chest. He froze as both a slight panic and a lustful curiosity gripped him.

Achingly slow, she inched her hand to the waist of his pants, lingering for a moment and then crossing that shattered boundary. First, he felt her warm hands wrap around his length and he groaned at her delicate touch. "_Wo de ma_!"

"You wish me to stop?" River inquired into his chest, rubbing her thumb over his sensitive tip.

"No, darlin', you're doin' just f-i-n-e…" Mal let out another moan as she continued exploring his rock hard member with nimble fingers, slowly stroking him with gradual intensity. He felt the pain-pleasure building, the pressure of want, need and desire rising behind the damn ready to burst. He forfeited himself to the surprisingly skilled touch of this girl who now owned him. All the stars in the 'verse passed through his eyes as he exploded into her hand, letting out a guttural groan, arching slightly as an orgasm ripped through his body.

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He woke first. A contented smile fixed on his lips as he drank in the beauty of the girl lying next to him. He'd been observing her for a while now. One arm tossed casually over her head, the other draped across her stomach. It reminded him of when she lay unconscious in the maidenhead before he impulsively scooped her up and brought her home. He wondered if he had known it then amidst all the chaos how much he needed her.

She was a sight to behold, full crimson lips, delicate features like an antique doll, and long wild threads of hair strewn about. She was a creature of extraordinary grace and splendor. Suddenly, he was overwrought with the desire to taste her, to kiss those waiting lips. So he did.

Leaning over her angelic, sleeping form, he engulfed her lips with his. River's eyes shot open, startled by the feeling of something warm and hot against her lips. When she realized the captain was kissing her like she was some sort of goddess, she threaded her fingers through the back of his hair and brought him down closer, kissing him back hard.

There was no turning back. The ache ran deep and he wanted her badly. They broke from their heated kisses long enough to shed their remaining garments. When he helped her slip the dress over her head and she fell back against his bed, he marveled at the sight before him. Her skin was flawless, her breasts perfectly round with a set of the most beautiful nipples he'd ever seen. He brought his mouth down hungrily tasting one, pulling the soft flesh between his teeth. He kissed his way over to the other as River guided holding his head in her hands. She was whimpering in pleasure, the sound only fueling his drive. He kissed and licked his way down her firm tummy, enjoying the unique flavor of her skin.

In a blink, her panties were gone and his mouth was exploring her wet center. He was on sensory overload between her shrieks of pleasure, and the scent of her arousal. He imagined what she would feel like wrapped around his throbbing cock as he expertly guided his tongue in rhythmic motions over her pleasure center. He slid his hand up her body, finding one firm breast and teasing her hardened nipple.

River's body began to quiver as Mal sent her over the edge. Her body thrashed with orgasm and stilled. Her knees relaxed full open, her body weak. If he had any inhibition left, it quickly dissipated at the sight of her flushed and inviting, looking at him with wanton eyes.

Desperately he crawled up her body and lowered himself between her legs. Slowly, he slid into her drenched, hot core, inch by aching inch, trembling at the tautness of her walls. River tilted her head back and moaned as he filled her completely. He could tell he wasn't her first, but it didn't really matter. She was so gorram tight, he thought just the gradual movements of entering her would send him over the periphery. He found her lips once again, kissing her passionately as he steadily rocked against her middle.

Long, slow strokes gradually deepened with force and intensity as his excitement became uncontrollable. She clutched on to the muscles of his back, fighting to hang on as her body began to loose control around him. Her shaking, writhing form, combined with the immense sensation emanating from their joined bodies became too much. Together, a crescendo of overwhelming pleasure gripped their bodies, the verse fading black for an infinite moment before clasping upon one another.

They said nothing aloud as they held on, sweaty, panting and sated. Nothing needed to be said because all had been communicated through the language of touch.

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Jayne groggily stepped from his bunk, grunting as he shut and locked his door. He hated waking up, always put him in a foul mood, that, and just about everything else in the 'verse.

It was then he saw her slip from the captain's bunk, closing the hatch behind her all stealthy like. His heart literally stopped. Yes, he still had one. _What the hell? _He watched her straighten her garments and turn around.

It was then it came crashing. The captain had sexed little crazy up. His whole body was instantly inundated with seething anger and jealousy.

Sure he had told the girl not two weeks before that he was done. That she needed to get, walk away. That he didn't care for her and never would. That he would most likely stray if she stayed with him, it was his nature. Can't teach old dogs new tricks. She had cried, begged and pleaded with him, but he stuck to his guns. He couldn't have no crazy person making him all soft.

Told her she'd find someone else, someone who'd treat her better. She protested but he pushed her away roughly, rejecting her like a piece of space trash. The hurt in her eyes, crumpled form, and sobbing voice hadn't left him since. But once he set his mind to something, there wasn't much that could change it.

River looked at him now, eyes wide, those beautiful bewitching spheres. She continued to walk past, stopping as she came next to him.

He just stood there like a lump, a tense bundle of conflicting emotions messing with his head. She turned her face towards him, but looked down as she spoke.

"You were correct. Found someone who would never push me away. Needs me. Feels good to be needed. I'll never forget what we had Jayne but I was mistaken. Thought my love would be enough to change you. Thought what we had would be enough to make it."

She reached out and gently touched his bicep. He wanted to shrink away from her touch but a distant part of him missed it. "Thank you for helping me to find happiness. Goodbye, Jayne." She slipped past leaving only the aroma of her sweet smelling hair in his wake.

When she was gone, he collapsed against the doorframe of his bunk. A gut wrenching pain tore through his stomach. He could barely breathe as realization shook his conscious. He ruttin' loved the _feng le _girl and now she was gone.

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda (2?)

Series: Creature of Extraordinary Grace

Author: Romanceguru

Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I am but a lowly subservient.

Rating: R

Summary: Post BDM. Mal/River/(?)

Notes: Back by demand. Surprise, surprise I'm doing another thing I said I wouldn't do. ; P

I wouldn't trade my beta for the 'verse! Thanks elsibet34!

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They lay in a tangle of naked, cooling limbs, both refusing to break the fusion formed during the heat of passion. Mal moved his body down River's, resting his cheek on the softness of her tummy. He could feel her breath lengthen as her body relaxed. Absentmindedly, he traced his finger back and forth over the small white scar on her lower abdomen.

River reached down, running her fingers through his hair ever so lightly, causing a pleasant tingling sensation to crawl over his bare flesh. Her voice was soft yet worldly as it cut through the silence. "You miss her."

"That I do." Mal answered earnestly. Inara's face briefly flashed through his mind before he forced it out.

River was silent a moment before she answered meekly. "I'm sorry."

Mal's body tensed at her words. He knew what was coming. "It's not your fault lil' 'tross. You didn't kill her." He reassured.

"I couldn't save her."

Mal lifted his head up, looking fixedly at River as he spoke. "Wasn't your job to. What you did, giving a piece of yourself, was all kinds of brave. None of us were to know then it was too late."

River lolled her head back, closing her eyes as memories of ghosts gripped her conscious. "I tried to see, couldn't. There were pieces, parts jumbled, fragmented, couldn't finish the puzzle. She didn't want us to know. Know she was dying. I…I just…if I were to…" River was upset, feeling guilty that she was beneath the captain and not the woman he had for so long languished over. The only woman she believed he had ever truly loved.

"_Shhh_…none of that now." Mal grabbed her hand, gently shaking her from the panicked memory. "Goin' on a year past now and ifs never did anything but bring about undue pain."

"But you're still hurt." River pulled the truth from the weary captain's face.

Mal sighed. "Been on the mend for some time now, lil' one. But for some odd reason I've been a feelin' much better of late." He smiled cheekily over glistening skin and bare breasts. "Now why'd you suppose that is?"

River bit her lip and smiled slyly at the handsome man below. "Um…you have been studying various forms of meditation?"

Mal cracked a mischievous grin and lowered his mouth to her belly, nipping at it playfully and sending River into a fit of squirming giggles. His warm mouth on her skin brought comfort and reassurance, helping her forget the past and the pain it brought.

As River tossed about she answered between fits of laughter. "Taken up…needle point?"

"Nope. Guess again." Mal burred his face in deep this time, her sweet mirth filling the small bunk.

"Found… us… a… job?" She panted, fighting for words as Mal found the extra sensitive areas along her sides.

Mal stopped and smiled devilishly at her. "You're one for torture now, aren't you?

"Have high pain tolerance." River stated simply, refusing to give in.

"Is that right?" Mal kissed his way back up her body, settling himself right above her angelic face and looking meaningfully into her arresting eyes. "All the hurt in the world don't seem to matter as much as it did."

He leaned in and kissed her long and deep with all the strength and fervor he felt in the moment from having this beauty laying willingly beneath him. When their lips finally broke apart he moved his mouth next to her ear and whispered earnestly. "I found me you."

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The mess slowly filled with mouth-watering aromas as River worked her culinary magic. She finished chopping the thawed onion and garlic as she reprimanded the man behind her. "Stop it. You're ruining my very clever concoction."

Mal had been sneakily adding various spices to the pot whenever River turned from the stove.

"Am I now?" Mal teased as he pulled the small girl into his arms. She set down her knife and hung her arms loosely around his neck, careful not to get her dirty hands in his hair.

"Last time I remember it, your _clever concoction _sent everyone to the sickbay." Mal continued to poke fun.

"That is because it was just a concoction and _not_ clever. Been reading up on various cooking methods. Will not poison the crew this time. Promise. May I please resume cooking duties, captain?" River smiled, blinking her eyes sweetly.

"Not 'till I get a kiss from the chef."

River squealed as he pulled her closer, the drumming of his heart against her own making her feel alive. Their lips met only briefly before the sound of a deep voice clearing awkwardly interrupted the moment.

River and Mal both turned to see Jayne kicking a chair out and plopping himself down. "Ain't ya'll got a bunk ta do dat in?" he grumbled.

River pulled quickly away from Mal and continued stirring the large steaming pot of food. Mal momentarily regarded her abrupt action before answering the foul tempered mercenary. "We do at that."

He then wrapped River up from behind as she dutifully stirred. "She's just so kissable." Mal continued. River smiled as he pecked her cheek and released her. "I'm going to check on our new pilot, still don't trust the guy not to crash us all to a fiery death. Don't do anything crazy 'til I get back."

"You're forgetting to whom you're talking." River smiled playfully at the man as he made his way from the room.

"Well, fill me in later. Just keep the violence to a minimum. Doc's still under the weather." Mal called over his shoulder and he was gone, leaving behind dead silence.

River refused to look up at Jayne but could feel his eyes piercing her like hollow point bullets. She didn't dare encroach on his thoughts. She had stopped trying long ago. It wasn't something he took kindly to. He preferred being closed off in every way. She also didn't want to know what he thought of her. As happy as she was now with the captain, memories of Jayne touched a raw nerve. She had been trying so hard to shut him out that she almost jumped when he spoke.

"Does he 'least know?" Jayne questioned bitterly.

"Know what?" River played indifferent, refusing to look up.

Jayne relented. "About _us_."

River made sure to keep her voice devoid of emotion. She would be strong; she was over him. "There is no us. If there ever was, it's not worth mentioning."

Jayne flinched at her words. It felt like a knife to the gut and he'd had more than a few of those.

He had watched her with the captain a good while before letting his presence be known. Felt down right ill to see crazy smiling at the cap like he was some sort of saint. Seeing Mal putting his hands where the girl used to let him made his blood boil hotter than seven suns.

More then anything, he hated that it was all for nothing, these torturous feelings he had been successful at avoiding until now. He knew it was some sort of cruel punishment for the way he had treated the girl.

Spent restless nights in his bunk ever since. Just thinking on how if he could just go back, he would have asked her to stay the night after they'd made love, instead of sending her away like the whores he'd kept. He would have held her close and kissed her on the mouth when she asked him to instead of getting mad at her when she persisted on the subject. He would have paraded her around the ship, his hand folded around hers, instead of shamefully saving their meetings for the dead of night, telling her she best keep quite about the whole thing. What a total _hun dun _he'd been not to notice the bit of treasure he possessed, if only briefly.

He looked down shamefully at the table but his words were for her. "I made a mistake, alright?" His rugged voice had an uncommon tenderness to it. "I was afraid, girl. Didn't wanna feel the things ya were makin' me feel."

River dropped her spoon and looked at Jayne in confusion, her heart thundering in her chest.

Jayne stood, stepping closer but careful to still keep his distance. Before he knew what was happening, all the things in his head were coming out of his mouth. He didn't ruttin' care anymore how it made him sound because he had nothing to lose. "I was stupid fer not seein' ya…how beautiful ya really are. It's not just 'bout the sex'n neither. Ya've done somthin' ta me an'… an' I can't stop thinkin' 'bout ya."

"You can't. Please stop." River pleaded, her voice was trembling, tears forming glistening trails over her hot cheeks. She looked down, scared, confused and ashamed of the moment.

"Gorramit, crazy, look at me."

River obeyed, he always did have a certain power over her. Her chin quivered as she fought back emotion.

"Don't right know when it happened, but it did." His heart was like a caged beast now ready to explode. "I love you, ya hear?" Jayne confessed looking her heavily in the eyes, ice blue penetrating her heart. "I miss you, _dong ma_?"

River just stood frozen in shock. Her knees were like jelly and there was a painful tinge in her heart.

A voice ruptured the intense gaze that Jayne and River now shared.

"It seems I'm the one now interruptin' somethin'. Care to tell me what the hell is goin' on?"

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Title: You Take Care Of Me (3?)

Series: Creature of Extraordinary Grace

Author: Romanceguru

Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I am but a lowly subservient.

Rating: NC-17

Pairings: Mal/River/ Jayne/River Kaylee/Simon

Summary: When it rains it pours…

Notes: Post BDM

Elsibet34 is my beta queen.

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Mal was leaning against the entrance to the mess, his arms folded sternly across his chest, when he addressed the pair who were staring one another down. "It seems I'm the one now interruptin' somethin'. Care to tell me what the hell is goin' on?"

With wide eyes, both Jayne and River turned in alarm toward the austerely placed captain. He stepped forward and slapped his hand against the larger man's back knocking him slightly askew. "Kidding."

River turned and quickly wiped the moisture from her cheeks with the sleeve of her blouse. Jayne just gave Mal a nervous twitch of a smile before pulling out the chair and taking his seat. He chanced another look at the girl to see if he could read anything from her expression but she was turned away.

"Ya'll act like someone died. It's not Simon is it? 'Cause I'd be a mite torn up if the Doc went an' left us."

River forced a faltering smile. "Simon. I should go check on him," she affirmed hurriedly. "Will you please finish up here?" She had already started readying a bowl for her brother, distracting her chaotic mind from the weight of the situation.

"Can do, but don't you go an' leave me with the big guy for too long. He ain't as pretty as you to look at."

Where Jayne would have normally blustered a cocky retort, he stayed abnormally silent. With tray in hand River swished her way over to Mal and tippy-toed a kiss to his check. "You're really a sweet man. Do you know that?"

Mal smiled handsomely down at River. "Hey now, that's not entirely true, darlin'. I've killed folk. Sweet men don't tend to shoot as craftily as myself."

"Well, you're sweet to me." River looked directly into Mal's bright blue eyes and meant it. She squeezed his arm and left to go attend to her brother, mostly because she needed to escape.

Jayne had quietly stalked her every movement and was hurt that she didn't even glance at him once before leaving.

"Well, why don't we test the grub my pretty lil' lady made us?" Mal said as he moved to the stove.

Jayne snorted at "my", got up and stalked from the room without a word.

"What?" Mal was amused. "Come on, it might be edible this time." He called after the retreating mercenary. He shrugged his shoulders and thought to himself while setting the table for the rest of the crew; girl has me doing kitchen duties now, must have it bad.

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River peered in to Simon's room, admiring the picturesque scene before her. Kaylee was seated high on the bed with Simon's head cradled in her lap. She was lightly smoothing his jetblack hair as she gazed lovingly down at him.

"Hello, Kaylee. Simon feeling any better?" River whispered and nodded towards her sleeping brother and set the tray on the table next to their bed.

"Well, his temp broke a while back. That's good right?"

"Yes." River confirmed as she wandered over to the crib, running her fingers over the peacefully sleeping baby. His cheeks were rosy and his bottom lip quivered as he whimpered, some distant memory of being safe and warm inside the womb taunting his sleep.

"_So_, dontcha hold out on me, now." Kaylee said giddily. "How's things 'tween you an' the cap'n? Still can't get over how cute the two of ya are together. He even smiles more now."

River blushed just thinking about Mal's boyish grin and how special it made her feel when it was directed at her. "I like him very much. Makes me feel like a princess."

"Good, that's the way it should be. 'Cause ya are." Kaylee observed River's quiet demeanor a moment before asking the most quintessential question. "Did ya tell him 'bout you an' Jayne yet?"

River shook her head and looked down.

"Sweety, ya got to tell him. Even if it were just a fling. He has a right to know."

River looked desperately at her friend wanting to divulge everything. "Kaylee, something happened. I don't know what…"

"_Mei mei_, is that you?" Simon stirred opened his heavy eyes and reached for his sister.

"It's me." River took his hand and sat next to his blanketed form. She fought back her anxiety and put on her "I'm ok face" as not to worry her brother. "When are you going to stop feigning ill just so Kaylee can pamper you?" River halfheartedly teased.

Simon closed his eyes, a faint smile capturing his lips. "Can't even stop picking on me when I'm unwell. I get it."

"It's the tough love approach to bedside manner. Been scientifically proven more beneficial. Brought you some food." Simon peeked one eye open wearily at the food steaming next to him. "I thought the point was to become well."

River pinched his hand.

"Ow, abuse!" Simon dramatized, before coughing weakly.

River smiled down at her brother before addressing Kaylee who was watching the two in amusement. "Kaylee, why don't you join the crew for dinner? I'll look after the children."

The mechanic laughed merrily. "Alrighty, but we's gonna finish that talk later, right?"

"Later." River affirmed.

Kaylee leaned into the crib, kissing her infant son, and then moved to give her hot browed husband the same treatment before leaving.

After she had gone, Simon looked curiously at his sister. "Talk about what, _mei mei_?"

River entertained to notion of confiding in her brother but quickly decided against it, given his tendency to react irrationally when it came to her.

She squeezed his hand and reached for the bowl of stew. "Nothing, Simon. Kaylee is just going to fill me in on the details of your sex life. Thought I'd give her some pointers."

Simon tossed a pillow at River and missed. "Brat."

"Throwing pliable objects at loved ones. I say recovery is foreseeable. Now open wide."

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_He was standing in the middle of a dense green forest, like none he'd even seen on the words that existed. A heavy mist surrounded dark, massive tree trunks and there was an eerie silence as he slowly rotated around to assess his surroundings. How'd he get here and where was he? A faint whimpering could be heard in the distance. River. _

_He frantically found his was through the thick underbrush towards the sound. She was lost, probably scared , and he had to find her so maybe then they could find a way out together. _

_He found her in an emerald green meadow; the mist had parted a path. She was on her knees and slumped over, her forehead resting against the soft earth. The girl was wearing a long off-white satin gown, and her hair was splayed about wildly, concealing her face but he could hear her sobs escaping her hollow and echoing through the valley beyond. _

_He ran to her, kneeling next to her form, unsure of what to do. He pulled her against him and held her tight. Words tumbled from his lips before he remembered even forming them. "Don't be scared. We'll find a way, darlin'. We'll find a way."_

Mal woke with a start, his eyes shot open, and blackness enveloped him. Panic seized his body as he heard the same whimpering from the tiny form next to him. He turned onto his side, making out River's face pushed tightly into the pillow, trying to mask the sounds escaping her body. He brought his hand to her heaving back, trying to soothe her with gentle motions.

"Hey now, I know I'm a scary man but I'm not worth crying over. Really."

Nothing.

He pulled her from her detached position into his strong arms, gently brushing back the damp hair which matted to her forehead and leaned down to kissed her tear streaked face, the taste of her salty and sweet on his lips. "Ya ready to talk about it yet? Can't help you 'less you trust me enough to let me in." He whispered soothingly against her damp cheek.

River sniffled desperately trying to calm herself. "I do. I trust you."

"Well then, wanna tell me why's my girl so upset?"

She shook her head franticly against his bare chest while clinging tight like a frightened child. "No. Not yet. Soon."

She urgently lifted her face up and pushed a fraught kiss into his lips, moving her small hands to hold his face steadily to hers. She pressed her lips fervently against his and tried to drown herself in the sweet, hot taste of his mouth before breaking away out of breath. She then looked decisively into his eyes and declared breathlessly "Make love to me."

Mal looked deep into her moist eyes and squeezed her close. "Are you sure that's want you want? You don't seem…"

River silenced his doubts with her lips and he moaned as she pressed against him aggressively. She wanted to crawl inside of him, wanted her skin to be his, and needed to feel everything and nothing, if only for a moment.

If she concentrated on how his strong hands were making her feel as they moved along her body, she could forget. If she could just focus on his soft lips sucking at the sensitive skin at the nape of her neck, it would drown out this day. If she could just center her thoughts only on the feel of him filling her body, moving inside of her with achingly slow deliberation, it could erase the pain in her heart and set her at ease.

He had done it before, saved her from sorrow and heartbreak without even knowing it. She didn't understand why she went to the captain that night, but she ran unheeded, some unseeable force drawing her to him for comfort.

She returned every night after, his body blanketing her shattered heart. He never pushed her away. In fact, he pulled her close in his sleep. The night she stayed away was simply a test. She was falling for the man with puppy dog eyes but couldn't handle it if another person pushed her from their bed, from their life.

She rolled them over so she could be on top. Gliding her body down his rock hard erection, she squeezed her eyes tight, the feeling overwhelming her body. His hands were gripping her hips, pulling her to him in desperation, as her head fell back, silky strands of hair tickling his thighs. She rode him until the waves of pleasure became so great that she had to let go. As she clasped upon him, he caught her in his strong arms. Trembling, he kissed her lips, her cheeks and eyes-lids with a tender passion. She clung to him as her body quivered from the lingering orgasm.

They held on to one another like this for a long while before she finally whispered her confession. "It was Jayne who brought me to you that night." She relaxed her body full on his as she spoke softly into his ear. "We, were…I don't know what to call it." She reached her hand up twisting his hair between her fingers. "We were intimate. Lovers." She waited for a reaction and when there was none she continued to speak, her voice wavering. " Please do not be angry. I should have told you before. This…this just all happened so fast. A blink and time elapses before the heart can discern itself."

River took a deep breath, mustering up the courage for what she was going to say next. "I was crying tonight because I've come to realize something." She reached up and kissed him softly on the cheek. "I love you." She clung to him tightly, bracing her self against the sound of her own words. "But there is an impediment. One I wish did not exist. I cannot stop it or make it fade. I love him too."

River held her breath waiting for the Mal to throw her off of him, to scream at her and tell her to leave but there was only silence. She pushed herself up and looked down at him. There was a slight smile on his lips and his face looked young and relaxed as he peacefully slept.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

Title: It's Not Safe (4?)

Series: Creature of Extraordinary Grace

Author: romanceguru

Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I am but a lowly subservient.

Rating: R

Summary: River tries to make sense of it all as Jayne…

Pairings: Mal/River Jayne/River (I'm double shipping it)

Notes: 1yr + Post BDM

Beta by elsibet34

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The moment they were alone and free from prying ears, Kaylee grabbed River by the hands and pulled her to the common room couch. As they sank into the cushions the mechanic looked at the younger woman assertively. "Alright, girly. Spill the beans."

"I enlightened him." River stated simply.

Kaylee leaned in eagerly. "How'd ya say it?"

"Told him that I love him."

"You love him? Oh! That's all kinds o' shiny!" Kaylee cried out, squeezing River's dainty hands in joy.

River looked at her friend hesitantly and finished, "and that I also love Jayne."

The mechanic's face glossed over in confusion. "You what? Wait. Am I missin' somethin' here?

"Oh, Kaylee, tried to tell you before, but Simon…" River proceeded to lean in close and recount Jayne's confession from the evening before.

"Jayne? Jayne Cobb here on this boat said those things?"

River nodded.

"And he weren't drunk?"

"In perfect sobriety."

"Goodness. Well, what'd the cap'n say when ya told him?" Kaylee whispered as if she were afraid of the answer.

"Nothing. Finished speaking and he was slumbering. I will try again tonight," avowed the younger woman.

"No!"

"But you said…"

Kaylee sighed. "Know what I said before, but things ain't as simple now. You ready to choose?"

"I don't know what I want." River answered honestly.

Kaylee bit her lip and looked into River's eyes apprehensively. "Can I ask you a question, an' don't be mad? I know Jayne went an' said those nice an' unexpected things to ya. An' ya'll had crazy sex together. But why do ya love him? I mean, he went an' broke your heart, an' the cap'n treats ya better than the big guy ever could."

River sank back into the couch as she searched for the proper memory to describe her feelings. Her voice was soft and enchanting as she spoke. "There was a night towards the end, after we…well, he thought I was asleep. I could sense him lean over me. His hand touching me here." She brought her own hand up to her cheek as she recalled the memory. "His skin rough against my own. Then he was slowly tracing his fingers over my nose, my lips… hands, memorizing. I remember my heart thundering, overwhelmed by the gentleness. He was always so detached… Took every piece of me not to open my eyes. To tell him I knew his secret. He cared."

"Then what?" Kaylee asked, genuinely intrigued.

River cracked a satirical smile. "He shook me awake. Informed me that I needed to leave before the crew got up and _found us out_."

"Hm..."

River's features softened, the truth of things realized. "He was scared of me. Scared of himself, so he pushed me away. Fell victim to his words. Ignored my heart. I believed him because he wanted me to. Forgot his touch. Furtive but true. He reminded me of it yesterday with words. Phrases, I thought I'd never hear him speak. It's torn me. Two halves equally divided."

Kaylee let out a long breath. "Jayne ain't ever been one, for, well, any type o' relationship. Guess it's a pretty big deal the way he feels 'bout you." She continued to ponder this for a moment. "No use breakin' the cap'ns heart 'til ya figure it out."

"I don't want to break anyone." River looked down at her lap and frowned, sadness creeping in and filling her conscience with regret. "Know what it feels like to be damaged. I can't…they should both stay far away from me where it's safe."

"Don't say that!" Kaylee shook the girl's hands for accent. "Not like ya planned any of this. Things just happen. Ain't much you can do but ride out the storm. When it clears, ya'll know what it is ya want."

River lifted her head, looking far off into the future for the answers she couldn't yet see. "More worried about the person I'm going to destroy in its wake."

---

River found her captain on the bridge staring out into the black, lost in thought. She silently observed his profile, taking in his beautiful stern features and her heart twitched pleasantly just being near him. She felt lucky to be deemed worthy of his touch, of his poetic words and his heart.

He hadn't struggled, nor fought her when she asked to be let in. This surprised her above all things, because she had witnessed the impossible wall he had built just for Inara. Perhaps he was just tired, ready to finally be loved or possibly, it meant something more profound, like destiny.

When she looked at him, she saw a bright light surrounding so much darkness. He locked it away deep down and braved his secret pain for the crew he loved. She wanted to reach inside and release his suffering, not be the cause of more.

With ghost light steps, she snuck up to the chair and wrapped him up from behind. Mal jumped slightly, startled by her presence but instantly recognized her touch and clean scent.

"What are your thoughts about?" She whispered faintly in is ear, her voice always sending tremors to his core.

He reached up and she felt his strong hands grip her arms and then he was pulling her into his lap.

"Just on pretty lil' things that like to sneak about." He answered evenly and kissed her lips.

He pulled away and smiled gaily at her. "Gotta stop that, bound to give an old man like me a heart attack."

River smiled back and shivered at the same time. "I'm cold," was all she could manage.

He leaned back and settled her more comfortably against his muscular chest, running his warm hands up and down the goosed flesh of her bare arms. "That better, lil' one?" River hummed a yes and pressed her ear against him. She tried to relax by counting the regular intervals of his heartbeat but her eyes remained fixed open, her own palpitations racing with the dread of the unknown.

---

Jayne busied himself with cleaning his wide array of weapons while waiting the agonizing 42 minutes it took Mal to finally leave the dining common.

He glanced up from his gun oil and gleaming pistols to look at River who was sitting on the opposite end of the table, working intently on a sketch detailing the logistics of their next job.

The girl's long, dark-brown hair laid spread over the sheets of scattered paper and her face was pinched in concentration. She murmured silently to herself as her pencil scratched the paper in quick, fierce strokes.

He thought back to a time when he wouldn't have given her a second glance, but now she was all kinds of shiny, just sitting there all focused like.

He wiped at the gun in his hand half mindedly, too busy being distracted to show 'his girls' his usual, meticulous care.

"Will you please stop staring at me? Can't concentrate." River asked without looking up from her work.

"I ain't starin'." Jayne shot defensively. "Just lookin' a bit."

"Same difference." River threw the mercenary an exasperated look and set her pencil down, sighing. "You want some tea?"

"Sure, I'll take some."

While River busied herself with the task, Jayne set down his pistol and removed something that had been hidden beneath the blanket on which his weapons were spread. He got up and moved behind River who was bent over grabbing the teakettle from a low storage unit. As she turned and stood she smacked into his barreling chest and dropped the thing, the metal clanging loudly on the hard ground below.

Jayne reached down concurrently with River to help recover the item. As he leaned down beside the girl, her hair hung in his face. Automatically, he closed his eyes and soaked in her distinctive scent. She smelled of sweet nectar, like early spring back home. It instantly evoked the memory of the same girly sweetness that engulfed him as he moved against her in the dead of night, sweaty, panting and over wrought with desire as he buried his face in her mane and released deep inside her body.

"Jayne, I have it." River's voice snapped him back from his erotic recollection. He looked down and found that his hand was tightly gripped around the kettle alongside hers. He immediately let go and stood up right.

As she began to turn away he reached one large hand out and placed it around her arm to still her. "Wait up."

River looked at him in query.

"Here. Gotcha this." Jayne shoved a slightly worn package into River's hands.

"When? We haven't…"

"I done got it a while back. Was just to much o' _lun dan _ta give it ta ya then."

"Oh." River said modestly as she stared down at the small box in her hands. Her heart raced at the thought of the hardhearted man going out of his way just to buy her a gift.

Jayne shuffled his feet a little and glanced at her guardedly.

"Well, ain't ya gonna open it?"

Carefully, she pulled on the ribbon until the wrapping was freed and it fluttered to the ground. She lifted the lid and pulled out a dainty gold chain at the end of which dangled a simple daisy with an amber stone at the crux.

River held the fragile thing up to the light and viewed it in fascination as it rotated slowly, shining brightly when the beams of light struck the stone.

Jayne cleared his throat awkwardly." 'Minded me o' the color yer eyes git when da sun hits 'em just right."

The awe struck girl just looked at the large man before her at a loss for words. This gift giving, love-confessing person was in stark contrast to the sharp, callous man who first broke her heart. She glanced back to the necklace one last time before resigning it over. "I cannot accept this."

Jayne took the chain and dangled it back into her small hand, closing it with his massive one. "Ya don't have to wear it. I just want ya ta keep it, _dong ma_?" He kept his hand over hers relishing in the feel of their contact. He fought back the urge to pull her up in his arms and kiss her right, those beautiful glossy pink lips haunting him with regret. He moved his gaze from her mouth back to her large brown eyes before Zoë walked in and announced her presence by clearing her throat.

River quickly pulled her hand from Jayne's and slipped the chain into the pocket of her dress. Zoë raised a curious eyebrow towards them and Rivers skin felt aflame as she stuttered out an explanation. "He was…I was…"

"Don't wanna know; don't care to. Safer that way." Zoë stated bluntly and made her way to the table to take a seat.

Jayne cleared his throat and announced his departure. "Well, I'm gonna just go see if'n the Doc needs help installin' that new 'quipment."

"Pinch me, I must be dreaming. Since when do you volunteer to help the Doctor?" Astonished Zoe.

"Told ya already, I'm unpredictable. Like to keep people guessin'." Jayne smirked at Zoë and found River's face once again. He flashed her a charming grin before leaving.

Something in his smile melted the resistance she had built up to him. Perhaps it was because they came so few and far in between. She felt her way back carefully to one of the seats in the common area and slumped down.

Zoë grabbed an apple, pulled out her knife and sliced into the ripe fruit. Silence hung in the air for a while before Zoë looked over at the dazed girl and warned, "Just be careful."

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

Title: We're going for a ride (5?)

Series: Creature of Extraordinary Grace

Author: Romanceguru

Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I am but a lowly subservient.

Rating: Pg-13

Summary: Our love triangle arrives on Persephone for a job.

Pairings: Mal/River/ Jayne/River

Notes: Post BDM 1yr+

Indebted always to my beta elsibet34 !

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---

The job went by without a hitch. That should have been the first sign something was about to go to the wayside. Coin and goods exchanged hands with out the haggling or the uncomfortable awkwardness that comes immediately before a double-cross. Weapons remained holstered and the Doc even got to keep his infirmary free of blood spatter.

Clandestine dealings almost never went smoothly. Perhaps that was just karma's way of retaining balance in the 'verse.

It was later that week during the drop on Persephone that River pulled Mal aside before entering Badgers den and spoke apprehensively. She grabbed his hand and pulled him to her, eyes wide and frightened. "Lets go back. Covetous eyes and a devious mind await."

"You know I love it when ya speak all cryptic like, but I'm gonna need that in captain dummy speak, lil' one."

"He'll want more. There is deceit." River whispered solemnly.

Mal smirked just a little and pressed further. "Always is. Got any specifics?"

River closed her eyes and tried to still her mind, dividing and separating the meshing of emotions and the consciousness of the souls surrounding her. Lightly touching on one, ten and a hundred until she found her destination but the details of Badger's intentions were veiled.

Mal watched in fascination as River seemed to leave the present, her body swaying slightly as whatever psyche left behind tried to balance her delicate form. A gentle breeze blew strands of angel soft hair across her face like dozens of ribbons, swirling and twisting to their own music.

She took his breath away and his heart struggled against the lack of oxygen. The normally sturdy captain wavered before he remembered the simple body function for life and sucked in a gallop of air.

_Ai ya_! He had to reclaim his professional detachment. He couldn't deal with a snake like Badger if he was busy being distracted by a little whisper of a girl.

Just then, River's eyes fluttered open, looking directly into Mal's, and then shamefully away. Her feelings of failure were evident as she spoke to the earth. "There's nothing. I'm sorry."

Mal took River's hand. "You really gotta to stop apologizing', lil' one. You're doin' the best with what's given. It's all any of us can do." He brought his hand up to her face and tucked those wild strands of hair behind her ear. "Just be vigilant. Don't want any undue violence. Too many alliance feds about." He squeezed her hand for reassurance and let go.

River could sense Zoë and Jayne in the distance making their way toward them. Hurriedly, she vied for the man's attention once again. "Mal."

The captain turned back from scouting the crowd for trouble and noticed the little albatross was agitated about something. "Somthin' come to you?"

"No. I just wanted…in case something happens." River gave up trying to verbalize her feelings and hastily flung her arms around the stunned captain's neck. Pressing her self fervently against him, she kissed him long and hard. When she pulled back, she cupped his face and looked at him unwaveringly. "I love you."

Mal felt the warmth of his blood flow to parts he had thought were long since dead. He smiled and returned her kiss uninhibitedly, moving his mouth deep and sensually against her soft lips.

To her it felt like heaven and she longed for it to remain that way as he pulled her close. Except, she could feel Hades approaching and she still hadn't decided if she wanted to burn with fire or float on air, so she pulled away just as Jayne and Zoë rounded the corner.

Jayne looked at her suspiciously but said nothing. In fact he had been respectfully keeping his distance. Waiting and watching. She could sense his tension and frustration growing in the days past like a time bomb ready for detonation.

Together they all entered the dank corridor into the shanty, filing in dutifully. As Jayne walked behind River he couldn't tear his eyes from her form, the fabric of her dress clinging tight and driving him mad with every step. She didn't walk; she glided on air. He found himself noticing these little peculiars more and more as of late.

Feeling the heat on her back, River turned and looked over her shoulder at the hulking merc and her inquisitive orbs bore into his. She felt a blush stain her cheeks as his wayward thoughts freely affronted her. Jayne just gave her his devious smile and she turned away before it could have further effect.

Mal took in the decrepit conditions of the small room. Holes riddled the decaying structure and it smelled of rancid curd. He hated doing business with the likes of Badger but crime was as scarce as honest employ theses days.

As soon as he saw the smug little bastard's face, all the past troubles came flooding back and he swore to himself this was the last deal he undertook with the little _huang shu lang_.

When they entered, Zoe and Jayne quickly scouted out the number of Badger's henchmen - there were five present- and what position to take stance in order to have some advantage. River stood off to Mal's right, silently trying to get a read of the barter's intentions. Zoë was to his left, looking stoically ahead while Jayne took up guard next to the corridor leading to the back room.

Badger had his feet propped up on his cluttered desk and he was smiling as if he hadn't a care in the world. "Well, if t'ain't my favorite smuggler in t'verse, Captain Reynolds."

Mal stood with his thumbs in his belt loops, unimpressed. "Do me a favor an' let's skip past the apple-polishin', Badger. Let's just get on to business so as we can'll be on are merry way."

"No need ta get tetchy, cap'n. That t'way you treat t'hand dat puts coin in yer pockets, eh?" Bader queried with a self-induced air.

Jayne let out a noise of distain. "Yeah, it's a wonder we don't come to ya more often wit what ya making us so wealthily an' all."

"We have all of us taken plenty o' risks. You know it ain't a one way deal, Badger." Mal tried to remain calm but the little bugger was getting under his skin and making him itch.

"Right, deal." Badger stood up suddenly remembering his intent. "Now that's where we need ta have ourselves a little chat."

"I ain't interested in talkin'. Deals been made an' the job was done without any color on our part. Far as I'm concerned, all's settled on." Mal said flatly.

Badger made his way over to stand face to face with Mal. "Don't want mor'n the bounty agreed. In fact, I'm willin' ta hand over the whole ball of was, if you agree ta my trade. See, there's somethin' more o' value I've been lookin' ta get my hands on."

River gasped as dishonorable thoughts spilled over, flooding her mind.

"Serenity is not for barter nor sale. An' she's sure in the hell worth more 'an your 40 if she were." Mal scoffed.

Badger moved next to River, eying her with filthy greed.

"Not dat girl, Reynolds. This one."

Mal was half anxious and half amused at where this was headed. "Ha! You must be out of your gourd if ya think I'd agree to that."

River shivered as she eyed the squat man wearily.

"Really didn't, you see." Bader motioned for his men and they stepped forward, large guns carefully trained at his guests' heads before any of them had a chance to un-holster. Badger smiled cockily. "Dat's where my colleagues come in handy."

Anger and rage flooded her vision, and it was not her own. River stepped backwards, wanting to run from the room, because it was suddenly very cramped. She was in the box again and there was no air; needed sweet oxygen to breath, to live.

Jayne had been watching the exchange, silently clenching his teeth but his patience was short-lived. "Dumb-ass chode! You better pray I don't get liberty 'cause when I git my hands on yer scrawny hide, yer gonna be breathin' outta yer back side!"

"Jayne, let the captian handle this." Counseled Zoe, she knew once Jayne got going there was no returning and the room was too small to avoid catastrophe.

River brought her palms to her forehead in frustration. Why couldn't she shut them out and focus? They would need her, soon. The room was spinning and the situation was coming to a culmination in more ways than one.

"I ain't letting' him take her, Zoë, an' you know it." The mercenary hissed through his teeth while crossly eying the man holding a high-powered gun to his temple.

River looked at Jayne and her heart ceased it's beat.

Badger stopped leering at the girl long enough to look up at the seething merc, rather amused. "I'm sorry. Am I intrudin' on true love? Didn't know large, angry brutes like yerself had dat sort o' capacity."

Oh, god this was it.

Forgetting the immediacy of the situation, Mal looked hard at Jayne to find him eying River acutely. The manner in which he was looking at the girl was more than instinctual protectiveness. Intensity blazed behind his stone cold eyes like none he'd ever seen before. "This true, Jayne? Somethin' goin' on I don't know 'bout?"

Jayne shifted his gaze to Mal's and resolutely stated. "Yeah Mal, there is."

TBC…

Weasel - _huang shu lang_


	6. Chapter 6

Title: My Turn (6?)

Series: Creature of Extraordinary Grace

Author: Romanceguru

Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I am but a lowly subservient.

Rating: PG-13

Summary: River does her thing.

Pairings: Mal/River Jayne/River

Notes: Post BDM 1 yr. +

Thanks to my beta elsibet34 and to crazywriterchick for the suggestion.

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---

The room was blanketed in silence. Even Badger had forgotten they were in the middle of a rift and listened on attentively.

"Quit crowdin' me." Jayne snarled irritably and pushed the muzzle of the gun being held to his temple away. The dark, burly man glared menacingly and retrained his weapon even closer on Jayne. He looked a mite too trigger-happy and the merc was pushing his luck by getting brave.

Zoë looked between her captain and the mercenary, sensing the worst of things to come. "Jayne, this really isn't the place or time. Kinda in a situation here."

"No. It's shiny, Zoë. Let the man speak. Reckon Badger can be so kind as to hold off on the kidnappin' for a few." Mal said derisively as he gazed intently at Jayne, trying to figure out what the big guy could possibly have to confess and why he seemed to suddenly care so much about River.

Amused, Badger waved his hand towards the merc. "Love me a good family drama. By all means."

Jayne opened his mouth ready to let it all flow out like whiskey come payday. After all, he didn't really care much about anyone's opinion but his own most of the time.

He glanced over at River and found that her eyes were cast downward in defeat. She appeared all manner of sad and it caused him to hesitate. The sight stifled his impulse and this came out in truth's stead. "Ya know we need the girl, Mal. Proved ta be plenty o' use to us an' ain't gonna let some gorram rat make off wit' her."

Jayne settled his eyes again on River, who was looking at him in surprise, and he noticed the blood return to her pale face. Their eyes remained locked together as he continued to speak. "Know I've done said different in the past, but crew is crew." For a moment, the corners of River's mouth curled up slightly with relief.

Mal felt a stir of queasiness in his stomach as he witnessed the silent accord shining blatantly in Jayne and River's eyes. Before he could even begin to comprehend what was going on, River's face immediately returned to chalk white and a soft whimper escaped her lips. "No!" She staggered back against the wall, wide-eyed with realization as the bits started to come together. "They have…Kaylee…_Simon_!"

Confusion gripped Badger as he witnessed River verbalize what was in his head. "How'd she…"

"Things you don't seem to grasp, Badger." The captain cut in. "What have you done? They ain't a part of this." Mal desperately tried to stifle his anger as the weight of the situation took effect.

Badger cracked a sly grin. "Insurance you see. You give me t'girl, I'll spare t'rest o' yer crew. If not, no fret. Can make a bundle for t' wee lil' gent."

Mal narrowed his eyes. "Using an innocent as your trump card, that's low, even for you, Badger."

"Prefer da term clever."

River looked at Mal, trying to reassure him with her eyes. "All other roads lead to demise. It must be done as he says. It'll be okay."

Jayne's hand was hovering over his holstered weapon, itching to draw and put a bullet between Badger's eyes. He wasn't going to lie down and let this happen.

His thoughts were loud, screaming with foolish heroic inclination. Quickly, River shifted her gaze to Jayne and shook her head in opposition but the warning came too late. As Jayne went to draw his gun, the brute holding the shooter to his head was quicker and cracked the butt of the weapon hard across Jayne's skull, sending him to his knees. The colossal man next powered his weapon training it to the top of the mercenary's head.

With swift grace, River was across the room in a flash knocking the gun away just as it discharged. The Bullet sliced deep through the outside of Jayne's left shoulder, missing its fatal mark. Jayne keeled over and grabbed his arm in pain. River shot a look of warning at the stunned brute, before kneeling down at the merc's side to examine the severity his injury.

Badgers mouth hung open. "How'd she…"

"Like I said…" Mal began but stopped in mid sentence, watching curiously as River tore a piece of cloth from her dress and used it as a make shift tourniquet on Jayne. The nauseous feeling in his stomach returned as he noted the way Jayne was staring at River as she gently attended to him. Sure they'd had gotten along better in times past but this was something more.

Finished, River turned and promptly addressed Badger. "May I at least say good-bye?"

Badger beamed, "Knew you'd see things my way." The exchange was going smoother then he'd anticipated. "Make it quick then."

River strode over to Mal, placing her hands on his brood shoulders for balance and lightly kissed him on the cheek near his ear. Before pulling away, she whispered, "10 minutes."

Mal felt spun about, overwhelmed by the multitude of situations that were beyond his control. He knew he should just let go and have faith that his lil' albatross understood what she was doing. He'd put all the pieces all together later when there fewer lives were at stake. Taking a deep breath, reluctantly, he played along. "All right, Badger she's yours. Don't want anymore blood spilled than need be."

"Ruttin' hell!" Jayne growled. "Yer just gonna hand her over like that then?"

Mal ignored Jayne and spoke directly to Badger. "Just you first call your men off my boat."

"Take me a fool, do ya now? Don'tchya worry none. They'll be called off, once we's a good deal aways. Badger held his arm out for River.

"Come, lil' lady. Yer chariot awaits."

River hesitantly slipped her arm through Badger's and looked back over her shoulder at Mal, Zoë and Jayne as they left out the back corridor and were followed by two of Badger's hulking men.

Once they were out of sight, Badgers cockney accent could be heard echoing from down the hall. "Hey, thought ya was from t'ole country, where'd that accent of yers go?"

---

The daylight hit Mal, Zoë, and Jayne's faces welcomingly when they left the dim shanty ten minutes later. When they reached the mule they found it had been disabled. All of them were just standing around looking at the mess of cut wires, clueless as to how to remedy the situation, when Mal spotted River making her way towards them. She was brushing dry earth from her dress and limping pretty badly.

Jayne perked up next upon seeing River and instinctively set off to go to her but came to an instant halt when he realized the captain had beat him to it. As the Mal scooped her up in his arms, Jayne turned away, unable to watch.

River let out a small shriek of pain as Mal squeezed her close. He loosened his grip on her and set her down gently, tilting her chin up in his hand to inspect for further injury. "What the hell happened? You alright?"

"Just a little dinged. There was an accident. He'll live. Friends were not so lucky."

Mal was angry with himself for letting her go, if he would have anticipated her getting hurt he wouldn't have gone along with any of it. "You should of let us…"

River spoke, cutting off his thoughts of guilt. "Had Badger call his men off. Serenity has been moved from the docks 20 miles due east, she's stagnant. Kaylee is trying to get her operational again." River smiled at the frown still embedded on the worried captain's face. She reached up and traced the furrowed lines on his forehead. "You are not culpable. The odds proved more efficient this route. You must believe me."

Zoë came over just then. "Sir, mule's busted for time being. Found a barter with a two-seater for loan."

"Good, we'll need it. Seems we got a little trek to make." Mal looked back over at Jayne who was leaning against the mule holding his injured shoulder and then back to River who looked all the more torn up, and made his decision.

"Jayne I want you to take River and get the both of you patched up. Keep a low profile. Zoë and me will go for lil' Kaylee an' the like."

Jayne nodded and pulled the first aid bag from the Mule before stepping over to River. They both watched Mal and Zoë disappeared down the way to go rent the smaller craft.

Jayne leaned over to River and stated mockingly. "Forgot ta kiss him goodbye."

"Wouldn't do that in front of you." River answered truthfully.

Jayne was bitter that the girl chose to go to the captain instead of him. That he was forced to stand by and let it happen. "But ya do it none-the-less." Jealousy consumed him like wildfire as he snapped at her. "Can't stand ta think on you with him."

River's eyes welled up with frustration. How could he be making her feel guilty? She turned to him, her tone accosting, "It's not fair what you're doing. You let me go. Let me walk away. You are possessive and greedy, Jayne Cobb. Only want what you had, because you can no longer."

River turned on her heels, leaving Jayne at a loss for words. As he trailed after her, he contemplated what she had said.

_Did_ he just want her back because Mal now had her? Is that what she believed? He thought back to the nights he lay in his bunk after he told the girl to get. The scent of her on his pillow and on his sheets, taunted him. He could have easily stripped them bare and given them a good washing, but they remained.

Each night the smell faded but his thoughts of her did not. He slept less and less, guilt sending him into a constant state of restlessness. Many times he wanted to stalk to her room and take back every rutting thing he had said, but he was afraid she wouldn't forgive him and more fearful that she would.

Thought he was saving them both a world of hurt by ending things before they got any more serious. He wasn't the relationship type and was too old to start being the kind now. He told himself that she had been nothing but a warm body to pass the time.

Every minute he spent pushing her away, convincing himself he didn't need her, was a lie.

True, it took seeing the girl come out of the captain's bunk to realize he loved her. To finally give him the courage to tell her just that but it didn't make it any less a fact. All it accomplished, was to make him regret in not realizing it sooner.

Jayne almost ran into the back of River as she had stopped in the middle of the dusty street. She was shielding her eyes from the sun as she looked up at something. He followed her gaze to the rickety establishment and grinned as he read the creaking sign swaying back and forth in the breeze. _Bill's Place rooms by the hour. _

River turned to catch Jayne grinning impishly and shook her head in annoyance as she snatched the medical bag from his hands. "You're prepossessed." she accused as started towards the inn. "Were here only to patch up."

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Storm's getting worse (7?)

Series: Creature of Extraordinary Grace

Author: romanceguru

Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I am but a lowly subservient.

Rating: NC-17You know what that means. ; p

Summary: points to rating

Pairings: Mal/River Jayne/River

Notes: Post BDM 1yr +

Last chapter before Series finally, its still up in the air.

Thanks to my genius beta elsibet34 !

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Zoë pushed the old clunker to its max as she drove over the cracked earth and through the barren valley outside the city to where River said Serenity would be.

Mal was lost deep in thought for a while before he yelled over the roar of the engine and the wind. "You notice anything funny 'bout Jayne?"

"Sir, it's _Jayne_. Gonna need you to be more specific."

"Oh, I don't know. Mayhap the almost gettin' himself killed over a certain former "moon brained" girl he ain't ever been particularly found of. Let alone, he don't normally get that vocal less there's coin involved. Somethin' just don't sit right."

Zoë remained silent.

Mal looked over at his first mate and recognized a look of hesitance in her stern features. "If you're privy to somethin', now'd be the time to divulge it."

"Don't know anything for fact, but suspected…" Zoë trailed off unable to formulate the words because then she would actually have to believe them.

"Damnit, Zoë. Just tell me. I can handle it. Can't be no worse then the crap they've already dealt one another."

"Think they've been intimate before, sir." She blurted out while keeping her eyes straight ahead.

Mal's jaw dropped, "What?"

"The way they look at each other…they have the sort of connection ya only get when you…"

"Alright!"

"Thought you could deal, Sir."

Mal just gave his first mate a look that said I could have handled anything but that.

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Jayne and River followed the innkeeper down the narrow hallway, waiting as the elderly man fumbled with the keys before unlocking the door, and entered into the small room behind him. The thin paper shades were drawn and the afternoon sun cast a dim orange glow, which filled the sparsely furnished space.

The man cleared his throat before addressing the pair. "So just you and the misses, eh" Sure ya don't need more'n the hour then?" The short balding man appreciated River up and down then looked over to Jayne and winked. River rolled her eyes and limped past the two, heading in to the bathroom. "He wishes." she proclaimed.

Jayne shrugged his shoulders and looked at the innkeeper. "Take more'n than an hour anyhow."

"I beg to differ!" River yelled over the water she was now running from the next room.

The mercenary grinned sheepishly at the stranger. "There were the one time."

"Five. I counted." Sang River as the water stopped.

"Will you shut it, girl! Man don't need ta know the details of our sexin'."

River emerged from the bathroom with a basin of warm water and fresh washcloths and smiled complacently. Still ignoring Jayne, she addressed the befuddled man. "Here's a detail. Never once kissed me on the mouth. Yet claims he loves me. What do you think about that?"

"Don't right know, Ma'am." He scratched his chin, chewing on the thought for a moment before leaning over to River as if telling her a secret. "Somethin' wrong with your mister?"

River giggled and turned to set the heavy basin on the dresser.

"Hey!" Jayne bellowed.

River smiled sweetly at the innkeeper and corrected him. "Not mine. Belong to another now."

"I see." The man bowed slightly before tuning to leave. "Best o'luck ta ya then, young miss." He stopped next to the towering merc and whispered, "I would've just kissed the girl."

Jayne just growled and shut the door hard behind the man.

"Yer wrong, ya know." Jayne stated at he sat down on a chair to remove his boots. "Don't know what else to say or do to prove it. Git ya ta stop punishin' me."

"Believe it or not, I'm not with the captain solely for your torture. I happen to like him…very much."

Jayne snickered at that and walked over to the mirror and peeled his sweaty, dust-covered shirt from his body and turned to inspect the gash on the outside of his left shoulder. The bullet had grazed pretty deep but the blood flow had slowed to a trickle. "What I done said hasn't changed. Have ya even thought on it at all?"

She wanted to reply, tell him the answer was yes, that even though he destroyed her with his confession, she had fallen way before then. Instead, she just gulped at the picture before her, her eyes glued to his naked back, lost in the curve of his muscles, flexing with grace as he moved.

Impulse whispered to her, tempting her to go over and run her hands up over his strong form, to lay her cheek against his smooth skin, but logic won as she got a hold of herself.

She said nothing in response, afraid to encourage the mercenary further. Mal, Mal, Mal, she repeated over in her mind as she picked up the first aid bag and soaked cloth and ordered Jayne to sit.

She limped over to him as he sat on the edge of the worn bedding. Grabbing his massive arm, she leaned in to inspect the seriousness of the wound before dabbing the crimson away with antibiotic and warm water. He barely flinched as the liquid seeped into his cut, burning like hell-fire. The only things he could discern were her cool hands on his flesh, nursing him with the utmost tenderness.

She was so close and yet so far away, biting her bottom lip in concentration as she tended to him. He watched intently as she wrapped his arm in gauze, noticing as she flinched in pain with every slight movement. It was then he spotted the red seeping through the side of her dress. He told her to remove the thing so he could take a look and when she hesitated, he reminded her it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before.

His eyes were glued to the naked skin slowly being revealed as she carefully slipped the straps of her thin dress off and peeled the top downward over her hips leaving her upper body exposed. Modestly, she draped one arm across her naked breasts.

Reluctantly, Jayne pulled his eyes, from her chest and placed his large hands on her hips to turn her to better assess her injury and discovered a large patch of road rash covering her side. He looked up at her in question.

"The mule no longer had a driver. Had to jump off before the crash," she explained.

Jayne nodded in understanding as he gently pressed a clean cool cloth to her injury, her breath hissed in pain at the contact. She closed her eyes, focusing her mind elsewhere until he was through. Next he grabbed the ointment and covered the area with the soothing gel. River shuddered under the pain-pleasure of his touch.

Lightheaded, she held on to his good shoulder to keep from falling over. He bent his head down to her middle and lightly blew on her sensitive skin to help dry the ointment, the sensation causing her to dig her hand into the muscle of his shoulder with each breath across her skin. She was overwhelmed by the day, the pain, but it was mostly the immediacy of his presence that dizzied her.

Jayne looked up, cool blue eyes concentrated with unbridled animalistic desire and when she read the intention raging within the blue flames, her own eyes widened like those of prey and she began to back away. "Don't."

He stood, towering over her, not once breaking the carnal lock of their eyes. She put her hands up against his hard chest and weakly pushed him away, looking down, looking anywhere but those eyes. He grabbed for her hands as she pushed against him, struggling, but he won, locking them together behind her back with the strength on one hand. Experience told him if she wanted to stop him she could bring him down with a few swift strikes.

The pull of her bound hands forced her to look up at him. Tension of lust and desire emanated from their bodies as Jayne leaned his face to hers and pulled her snuggly against him. His body tensed as he felt her hard nipples pressed against his chest. He held his mouth before hers and the nearness his warm breath on her lips rendered her powerless. Jayne spoke in a low guttural tone, "Yer right, shoulda done this a long time ago," and then his mouth was covering her sweet lips, moving and trembling with want. She tasted like ecstasy as he parted her lips gently sliding his tongue deep into her mouth. She keeled against him as her body gave out from the pleasure of his kiss.

He walked her backwards to the bed; her hands still secured firmly behind her back as he carefully laid her down and continued to explore her mouth with his own.

Every muscle in his body was burning with desire and he enveloped himself in the cool passion of her kiss. With his free hand, he bunched up her dress and pulled her panties in one swift motion from her body. Between kisses, she was pleading for him to stop, her body betraying her words. He undid his pants and shimmied them from his body and crawled up over her. Her knees were locked shut, one last attempt at keeping him at bay.

She trembled as bit by bit he slid his work worn hands up her supple thighs, urging them apart. She was weak to his touch and slowly spread open allowing him to rest his body between her thighs.

He moved his hand slowly up over her hips, stomach, cupping her breasts as continued to passionately kiss her, finding immense pleasure in the very thing he'd avoided up until now. Tingles spread up from her heat and shot through her body as she felt his head against her entrance, anticipating his large girth.

He moaned against her lips as he slid into her, her body tightly conforming to his. He wondered if she always felt this good as he lifted his mouth from hers and looked deep into her eyes, searching for redemption.

Tears fell from the sides of her face as she locked her eyes onto his. He released her hands, moving them around his neck as he continued to move against her hot center with gradually building intensity. She hooked her legs around his back, pushing him deeper, and their eyes rolled back at the immense pleasure of the contact.

She was whimpering his name as her small frame began to tense, uncontrollable pleasure gripping every nerve. He could feel her giving out around him, his own body threatening to release the most intense orgasm of his life. He whispered throatily into her ear as he feverishly pounded against her. "I wanna hear you say it." His deep voice sent shivers down her spine, cooling the sweat veiling her body.

She was so close, her skin ready to burst. "Please. Don't make me," She pleaded, regarding not only the words he wanted her to say, but also fighting the surrender of her body to his.

He slipped his strong arms beneath her, wrapping her close, her writhing form pressed firmly against his. "I love ya, girl. I wanna know you feel the same."

Her body crashed like a title wave breaking on shore as his words sent her over the edge. Her cries of pleasure triggered own orgasm, which had been building with tremendous force. With one final stroke, he released his hot seed deep inside of her along with his heart and soul. He resigned it all as he held himself securely inside of her, spasms of pleasure traveling to every point on his body.

Desperately he found her mouth once again, sealing their union with a labored kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck tightly, burrowing her face into his neck, drinking in the musky testosterone scent of him, and whispered breathlessly, "I really, truly, hate you, Jayne Cobb."

He smirked against her damp hair and held her tighter. "Close enough."

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Tore up plenty (8/)

Series: Creature of Extraordinary Grace

Author: Romanceguru

Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I am but a lowly subservient.

Rating: R

Pairings: Mal/River Jayne/River

Summary: Post BDM 1 yr. + How will the 3 fair as a storm blows in full force, both literally and figuratively?

Notes: I was struggling with the finale and was severely unhappy with it. I finally realized that this story needed another chapter before I could wrap things up in a pretty little bow or in an ratty old paper bag.

I love my captain and beta! Thanks. Elsibeth34!

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"Wait up, girl!" Jayne called out after River, who was ten paces ahead and looking curiously through the crowded streets. "Know my lovin' works wonders, but you ain't healed." The sun was setting in the Far East, illuminating the sky in deep reds, purples and pinks. It smelled like rain as a cool breeze blew through the streets, the chill warning of the impending nightfall.

The pain in Jayne's shoulder had settled to a dull throbbing ache and he would kill for a decent shot of anything just about now to take the edge off.

The breeze carried the scent of her, embedded into his flesh, back into his conscious. After what just took place in that golden room, on that old rickety bed, he thought he'd feel completely satisfied.

It was the best sexing to date, but something felt missing. Maybe it was the way she rushed out of the place after, walking far ahead of him now as if she didn't know him from one strange face to the next, and forgetting the fact they'd just been intimate. She should be at my side, hanging on my arm, he thought dejectedly. Damn girl never made any sense.

The way she had clung to him during, kisses full of urgency, and the power behind it all, felt more than one-sided, deluded him into thinking that it meant they were going to be together. Instead, there was a feeling of dread knotting itself in the pit of his stomach. He hated feeling that way, all open and vulnerable, like there was a piece of him missing. No way in a gazillion years did he ever think it would take a piece of broken crazy girl to make him feel complete.

River stopped in the middle of the way, people swarming around her in a diverse, colorful blur. "Mal." She whispered. He was so close. She could feel him, the distinct quiet fury of a masked torrent coursing his veins. His blood ran hotter than most. People both flocked and cowered to and from the heat that radiated from his person. River closed her eyes, feeling the wind pick up and the electricity in the air crackle. A storm was brewing.

As Jayne caught up with River, he found her standing as still as death. Her lips were a pale blue and he noticed the gooseflesh covering her slender, bare arms. He became aware of the thin strap of her dress that had slipped off her shoulder, walking his mind right back into that hotel room. Instinctually, he reached over to right it, before anyone else got to thinking that way also.

His fingers slid along her skin, gliding on ice, she was so cold. Without a moment's pause he pulled her to him, wrapping her up in his warmth.

River shivered pleasantly at his touch. It has only been an hour since his hands had graced her flesh, but she realized she needed it, craved it. When he enveloped her in his large arms and held her tight, she felt safe. His imposing mass sheltered her from the whips of wind, a temporary refuge from a darkening sky that threatened to spill.

"Yer cold." Jayne mumbled as he rubbed his large hands up and down her arms, hoping the friction would generate enough heat to keep her from shivering like a wet cat.

River leaned back against him for a while, basking in his uncharacteristic thoughtfulness, allowing his flesh to warm hers, and losing herself in the simplicity of the moment.

"Warmer now, thank you." She hummed her gratitude as she stepped away, smiling back up at him.

As quickly as he was graced with her luminous expression, it melted away into a look of complete distress. Her eyes expanded in alarm as she shouted her warning. "Behind you!"

---

Mal blinked his eyes in disbelief at the scene before him. As if every time he shut and opened his eyes the picture before him would seize to exist, be anything other than Jayne holding River like it was the most natural thing in the 'verse.

Son of a bitch! A rush of adrenaline coursed through his veins as his heart speed up with panic, jealousy and rage. He clenched his jaw, his muscles tense, bristling as he pushed through the crowd, narrowing his focus in on the large man's back until he was only a foot away.

---

Jayne turned just in time for Mal's fist to connect solidly with the side of his face, his head snapped to the right upon impact, and he stumbled a little from the force of it. Pain blinded him momentarily before he heard Mal shouting at him. "There somethin' hindering you from keeping your hands to your own self?" He clenched his fists solidly at his sides, ready to send another one into the big guy as his first mate's words blared full force in the front of his mind. _Think they've been intimate before, sir._

Jayne spit a glop of blood and righted himself, a deep scowl gripping his face. "Yeah Mal, there is." He turned and looked pointedly at a very wide-eyed River.

Her dress and hair were whipping turbulently around her small frame, and she wished it would just pick her up and carry her away from the now. Mal looked angry, hurt, and disappointed and her heart stuttered at the sight of him.

It was almost dark, the street lamps and store front signs flickering before fully alighting. The wind howled through the quickly emptying street as the locals dispersed to take shelter. Lightning flashed, followed by 10 counts of distant thunder.

"I turn my back, trust you to keep her safe and you…you what? What in the hell's going on here?" He looked to River who was peeking at him apprehensively, like a kid caught doing something, contrite. Something wasn't right, the happiness Mal had so newly acquired was slipping away expeditiously and he already mourned its absence.

"Ya don't wanna know. Couldn't handle the truth of it," Jayne spat.

"Try me, Jayne." The captain resounded. "Told you once before, you feel the need to screw me over, have the decency to own up to it. Tell me, what were ya doin' with your hands on River?"

Jayne seethed in anger. The pompous captain thought he owned the 'verse, and he was plain sick of it. "It ain't you I'm screwin'." He answered defiantly.

Mal saw red and rushed forward, tackling the larger man with all his might, sending them both crashing cumbrously to the ground.

"Stop it!" River shrieked as lightning flashed and boomed loudly through the night. The clouds split open, sending a burst of frigid downpour, which drummed harshly against their skin.

The two men rolled recklessly across the ground, it was softening into mud around them, covering their struggling forms in a slick layer if slippery earth. "Just couldn't handle it could ya?" Mal snapped angrily as he smashed Jayne's face into the mud. "Couldn't resist taken what ain't yours."

Jayne thrashed about as the mud pooled around his face, threatening to drown him in a thick brown death. He heaved his arm up with all his might bringing his elbow hard across Mal's face, knocking the man clear off him. Scurrying forward, he took a hold of Mal's boot as he tried to stand up right, sending him sprawling right back down on to the unsteady earth.

River was pacing back and forth in a panic as the forceful rain plastered her hair to her skin, her dress drenched and sticking to every part of her. She didn't know how to make them stop, make them listen to her screaming plea's of desperation.

Jayne had won the winning position atop of Mal, and he was pressing his forearm firmly against his throat. Jayne growled in his ear, the full weight of his body smashing down. "She were mine first. Got my leftovers." The captain struggled for breath. His airway was tight, and any air that managed to get through was mixed with rainwater. He was gasping desperately for air like a fish out of water.

"Please, Jayne, you're killing him!" River flung her body atop of the mercenary's back, clawing at his slick body, trying frantically to pull him off.

Startled by the weight of something upon his back, he let off Mal a little, turning his head to make out its source.

Not seeing River, the captain took the opportunity to bring his leg up and strike his heavy boot violently into Jayne's chest.

In a blink, Jayne crashed backwards, his head snapping back upon impact and landed forcefully, pinning what felt like a small body to the ground. His heart suspended a beat, realizing in horror it was River beneath him, and he quickly rolled off her.

Mal sat up and spied his girl lying motionless. He felt an intense panic hollow out his insides. Jayne rolled over and turned back to the small form lying in the mud. They both scurried to her slipping and sliding in the mire. Jayne being closer picked up her limp body and cradled her in his lap.

Mal grabbed her wrist and leaned in close, simultaneously checking for a pulse and breath. It was hard to discern because the rain was still pounding down ferociously, so he put his lips to hers, they were cold, but he could detect a shallow breath. He smiled faintly against her lips allowing the blood to rush back into his body, restarting his heart.

Mal sat up as Jayne pulled her closer. "She breathin'? She gonna make it?" There was a grave urgency in the larger man's voice.

"Don't right know. Come now, we need to get her to the Doctor." Mal's voice was strained with worry as he stood hastily and helped a dazed Jayne up to his feet. Jayne nodded in accession as he coddled River's drooping form, and together they made their way through the storm back to Serenity.

---

The mud covering their skin and clothes had started to dry and cake, making their movements slow and languorous. That and the fact they had beaten the crap out of each other and nearly killed River in the process weighed on them heavily, inside and out.

They were getting mud everywhere in pacing back and forth outside the infirmary. The Doc ordered them to go get cleaned up before they could enter his sanatorium. For once, the men allowed themselves to be bossed around by Simon, guilt sending them into an obedient trance.

Both returned shortly, sitting and then standing anxiously outside the sickbay, waiting for Simon to finish whatever he was doing in there to fix River. They ignored one another, suffering alone equivalently in silence.

---

When River finally opened her eyes, she found herself peering up at a white tiled ceiling, tinted a dusky blue in the dim lighting. She could hear a heavy dual snoring, the thick rich sound filling the room. The pain in her chest was immediate as she tried to sit up and look around, to find out who was with her, but it felt like there were a ton of bricks permanently cemented upon her upper body.

A small whimper escaped her lips as she strained upwards. Frustrated, she gave up and flopped the short distance back onto her pillow.

Rolling her head to the left, she found Jayne sprawled out uncomfortably on the bed against the wall. His massive form looked impossible to fit on the small ledge beneath him. He looked so vulnerable, like an over grown puppy. Reaching her arm out she wanted to pet him, take away his guilt-ridden nightmare as he whimpered in his sleep. Her hand dropped as curiosity beckoned her to discover the source of her second guest.

She smiled as she found Mal scrunched down in a chair to her right, his legs resting up on a second. He had a thick gray blanket pulled up under his chin; his handsome, familiar face was instantly calming. Snug as a bug in a rug, she thought.

Her heart swelled at finding both men by her side. The storm had battered and beaten them down, but they were still there, waiting for her. It had torn them all up plenty as the wind and driving rain assaulted their spirits and tested their resolve. The initial agony was washed away with the torrents, deep into the brutal night. The sky was clearing into a brilliant clear blue, and the sun would rise again. She closed her heavy eyes, still very drowsy but contented, lolling back in to a deep sleep.

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9

Title: All the love in the 'verse (9/)

Series: Creature of Extraordinary Grace

Author: Romanceguru

Disclaimer: Joss is boss, I am but a lowly subservient.

Rating: R, For mention and brief depictions of sex

Summary: River reflects on her relationships with two very different men.

Pairings: Mal/River Jayne/River

Notes: Post BDM 1 yr. + I'm going to stop promising a resolution and just go with it. So when this thing ends, it ends. Thanks crazywriterchic for your helpful insight, you helped clear a path through the madness. Also, special thanks and endless praise to my lovely beta elsibet34.

Rayne shipper/Maliver shipper Warning: This story is equally heavy on Mal and Jayne interaction with River, both intimately and romantically.

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When River next opened her eyes, she was no longer surrounded by the cold, sterile chill of the infirmary but rather encircled by the vaguely familiar comfort of her own room. The truth was that she had not spent a single night in her quarters in the past two months.

The room was oddly silent, desolate and cold. River suddenly felt the utter loneliness of not being wrapped up in Mal, not having the smooth skin of his warm chest rise and fall beneath her cheek with each slumberous breath he procured.

It felt like years since they had last been together, even though in reality it had only been days. There were so many things she already missed. First, the scent of him, pure full-bodied male, brown and green like earth.

When she snuggled her face into the warmth of his neck and breathed especially deep, she picked up the light trace of his cologne interlaced with the metallic tinge of Serenity. In her little world, he emanated the essence of home.

She missed his sleepy morning smile as she peered up at him from the comfortable crook of his arm. How he always stayed in bed just a little longer to cuddle with her before starting the day.

She missed his playful teasing when she had started to slowly move small personal items into his bunk. One day while humming to herself as she meticulously spread a pastel covered comforter across his bed, he told her that as much as she thought she was being all sneaky like, her girly pink candles and fine smelling sundries could not go unnoticed. He claimed that her things were messing with the rugged, manly aura he had worked so hard to preserve.

She remembered standing tall on his bed and responding matter-of-factly that he secretly liked things complicated, as well as the color pink, and that it was wrong to suppress his feminine side. She continued on about how one day he would snap from the unnatural suppression and start adorning woman's clothing.

After that, it was a mess of tickle torture and denial, followed by heavy kissing and an order from him that her girly things need to start paying rent for the space they were taking up. When she silenced his teasing with a long, sensuous kiss and whispered into his ear the many ways in which she would repay him, he shivered at her tempting promises. Grinning widely, he agreed that those things would do just fine, more than fine actually, and granted her things permanent residence.

One afternoon when they were planet side, Mal stole her away from the rest of the crew with the fabrication of work to be done. After about a mile's hike up a hill, through a meadow and past several young tree growths, River spied a blanket laid out by a small lake which was sparkling in the afternoon sun.

River covered her mouth in surprise. The scene before her was so wonderfully picturesque she was almost certain that she was in a dream state. Things like this didn't happen to her, or on her behalf, and for once in her tragic existence, she felt like a normal girl.

After teasing Mal about his girlish romantic nature, River turned on her heels as her captain gave chase, dodging back and forth along the sandy bank to avoid capture. Breathless and tired, she put her hands up in surrender making her expression as sweet as possible to avoid retaliation from the enemy.

Instead, Mal lunged forward and scooped her up, easily flinging her over his shoulder as he headed towards the water with the girl kicking and screaming in protest.

Later, as they lay under the warm sun to dry, he told her about his past, about his life on Shadow before the war. He confided to her his dreams of heroic grandeur and then about his wish to just simply survive. He admitted that he was scared to let anyone in, afraid that if they saw the darkness that haunted him, they too would turn black. She assured him that she only saw colors and that the darkness was fading into a dim memory.

He crawled over her and kissed her face, and told her that she was his light, his guiding star. The setting sun lighted his eyes a brilliant blue as he gazed down adoringly at her and confessed that he had been living dead most days, and couldn't imagine going back to life before her.

River felt swept up in the clouds. She felt as though she was truly flying without the confines of the ship's hull to protect her from the naked air and the possibilities that lay in the vastness of space. She felt everything with no restrictions or forethought and she wondered if Mal knew that he wasn't the only one who had been saved.

Mostly she wondered if she would have even known the captain like this, so beautifully intimate, if his mercenary hadn't broken her heart first.

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Jayne, in all his paradoxical glory, loved her now, as she had always wanted him to, only one heartbeat and moment too late.

She had been drawn to him from the beginning, like a curious moth to a flame, unafraid of the burn. At first, he played indifferent to her persistent, silent company. Whether she was watching him make improvements around Serenity, lifting cargo in the bay or penning a letter home, he barely acknowledged her existence.

When she finally broke the mutual silence with a teasing comment or advice on how to improve his technique, he would just stare at her in annoyance or tell her to scat or gruffly inform her that he liked it better when she was quiet like.

As the months passed by, she would trail him around the ship and ramble on in great detail about things ranging from literature, and astronomy to art and most recently, psychology. She would inform him the reasons of his nature by titling him with some weird sounding complex he couldn't pronounce. Sometimes she would just make some eerie ass prediction about which one of them were going to get shot that week during an upcoming job.

He no longer told her to leave him alone but rather actually listened to the things she had to say as he worked industriously. He figured she was more entertaining than not, a quick way to pass the time. If the genius were lucky, she would receive a grunt of decipherment from him or a slight smirk at one of her ridiculous observations.

River understood Jayne had loathed her before he could understand the truth of things. The events surrounding Miranda had instilled a new perception of her. River was no longer weak and cracked in his eyes but the result of something greater than all of them. Once he understood her beginnings and saw with his own eyes her worth, he easily began to accept her as crew.

She was used to his callousness and his indifference to her and she could tolerate it if it meant she could be near him. In all his simplicity, things were clearer when she stood next to his towering mass.

Slowly, she felt her sanity strengthen, the start of normalcy, and she couldn't want for more. That was until the day he finally began to converse back with her. She experienced a newfound excitement as she began to connect for the first time with her polar opposite. Every time he told her some dirty joke that Simon would have certainly been appalled by or when he asked her the meaning of something he didn't understand in an instruction manual, she felt as if the whole 'verse was spinning at her feet.

One late night while the two played a game of cards after few shots of whiskey, Jayne swayed a bit as he made a flirtatious comment about the way her clothes were fitting better now. River just smiled as she continued to beat him at his favorite game, only he didn't seem to mind.

After a few more shots and through slurred speech, he confessed to her that she drove him crazy with want, especially the days when she wore those tight little black shorts.

The thing was she had always worn those shorts. It was only now when he was able to see her as a viable woman that they were starting to have their affect. She knew that even though he was inebriated, he spoke the truth. The only divergence was, he would have just kept it to himself had he been sober.

Some days she would brush against him as she walked past, smiling mischievously as he leered after her. It soon became a game of cat and mouse, the hunter and hunted continuously alternating. The flirting and groping turned into necking and roaming hands, clothed bodies grinding together urgently in little dark hideaways around the ship.

Their first night together was rushed, awkward and uncomfortably painful. In a flash of eagerness and lust, they peeled off one another's clothes before slamming together in the heat of passion. River knew nothing of how to proceed with her first sexual experience and Jayne was too blinded by the simple want of her to progress with ease.

About halfway through the act, he felt the hot sting of her tears against his naked chest and realized she was whimpering. He stopped abruptly as it finally dawned on him that she had been a virgin.

The fear and guilt of hurting her turned quickly to anger about being in the situation in the first place. He told her straight out that they had made a mistake, and that she needed to get dressed right quick and get out. That was the first night Jayne Cobb made her cry.

The next morning Jayne found her snuggled tight and secure in a blanketed cocoon upon her bed. Inconspicuously, he had slipped in her room past the unknowing crew and attempted to apologize to the unresponsive bundle sniffling under the covers. He told her that he weren't used to being with girls that had no experience. Also with ones that talked as much as she did and that she'd just have to be patient with him until he got used to it all.

It was quiet for a long while before River flipped the covers off her head and peered at him through a tangle of dark hair and red-rimmed eyes. She smiled her forgiveness and for a singular moment he allowed it to affect him before he quickly made some excuse to leave.

About a week later, River followed Jayne once again into his bunk and this time he was slow and gentle, taking extra care to make sure she was enjoying every slight slip of the tongue, every explorative caress to her smooth white skin. When his tedious efforts and restraint were rewarded with moans of pleasure, he smiled against her body and for the first time in his life took pleasure from gratifying someone other then himself.

Their relationship progressed primarily in the confines of Jayne's bunk. Each night was beyond gratifying, but as she grew more attached, she began to dread their time together.

After waiting all day just to touch him, they would make love in a torrent and he would hold her only briefly before insisting she leave. She had never anticipated that being with somebody could feel so lonely.

The night it had ended between them was the night she told him how she really felt. Through tears, she demanded why he never kissed her, why he never wanted her stay and sleep the morning through. She confessed that she loved him and was tired of the restrictions and boundaries placed on what should be such a freeing emotion. He immediately turned cold as ice and whatever small door he had opened to her had slammed shut at her avowal.

A lot of things were said that night, a barrage of hurtful words weakening her heart with their cruel truths, but it was when he lied and declared that he never cared for her, that he could never love a crazed little girl, that her heart truly did shatter. Her despaired form crumpled to the floor in a heart-wrenching sob at the loss of everything she never had.

It took all of her strength to climb up that ladder and out of his bunk. Once she picked herself off the floor she refused to look back, even though she could feel the heat of his gaze follow her out.

In the dim corridor, she felt tragically empty; her body felt strangely buoyant and fear gripped her as she thought she might float away into nothing. Before she knew what she was doing, she was climbing down into the captain's bunk, looking desperately for an anchor to ground her, to save her as he had before.

Things had spiraled so out of control over the past few weeks that she doubted things would ever be the same again for any of them. She had broken the very men she loved by simply loving them wholly and completely. They had unintentionally wounded her in their attempt to assume dominance as they struggled in confusion for the fading illusion of what was no longer.

Guilt gripped every sore muscle in her body and overwhelmed her tired soul. She was aware of her failure to absolve things before culmination, and it tore at her conscience.

River sighed as she mentally tried to put everything into place, to find room for both chaos and love. Since the beginning of both relationships, she hadn't been able to control a single outcome. For all her abilities to precisely calculate and solve problems before they arose, even she could admit when it came to the matters of the heart, there would always and tragically be substantial room for error.

TBC…


	10. Chapter 10

Bearings 10

----

As the long tedious days dragged on through the black, Kaylee and Zoë took turns keeping River company while her body slowly and steadily healed.

Her heart still ached deeply with confliction and she felt more confused now than ever. Somehow, she had hoped a clear answer would avail itself after the bedlam had died down.

She had seen neither Mal nor Jayne in the past several days, and while her tired soul partially mourned their absence, she mostly appreciated it.

Time was of the essence or the essential in her case as she continued to sort through her feelings and inconclusively compare emotional notes. Mostly, her mind moved in continuous, nauseating circles. Deductive reasoning did not apply when it came to love.

The girls had provided encouraging words and advice on the situation and attested that both Mal and Jayne were miserably moping around the ship over what had happened.

Zoë had assured her that the two weren't set to murder one another anytime soon. All motivation to act vengefully died the night their reckless actions caused nearly tragic results. In no way did that mean they were anywhere near civility. That would take time, and possibly a miracle.

---

Mal unconsciously found himself walking past River's room at odd hours of the day, and occasionally during the night when he was starved for sleep.

Sometimes he would stop and listen for signs of life; the rustling of blankets, the flip, flip of pages turning, or the soft, gentle panting of her breath cutting through the still of night.

A minute or so with his ear pressed against her door was all he allowed himself before moving on. As long as he received updates from the doc and could hear for himself that she was recovering at due speed, he saw no real reason to visit.

It was painful enough trying to sort through the situation in his head. Seeing her right now would do nothing but cause him more grief. That's what he was left with for going against his conventions and taking a chance on the very thing he had denied himself up until now.

Everything he was feeling was a jumbled, chaotic mess and he couldn't spend more than five minutes trying to analyze it all before he wanted to put his hand through something, primarily Jayne.

The _yuán rén _would have been off the boat by now if it weren't for his dwindling and ailing crew. Desperation called for personal sacrifices.

Fact was, as angry as he was with Jayne, he was even more disappointed in River. Everything they'd had together felt so achingly wonderful like some sunny dream he never wanted to wake up from. He had allowed himself to become closer to her than any woman that came before, Inara included.

Indubitably, he had secretly loved Inara for about as long as he could remember. He had been hopelessly infatuated by her regal and mysterious aura. He thought perhaps one day when they were done with their dance of fear, they would have ended up together. Of course, life and death had other plans written in the books for the companion.

He missed her still some days and there wasn't a person on this boat who didn't feel the loss of her. Respectfully, he cherished her memory and vowed to move on, and he did.

He found serenity in the last place he would have ever expected. In the arms of a barely legal, formerly insane government trained assassin. Not a one could say he didn't dare to live life dangerously.

The thing was, she wasn't dangerous, just misunderstood. There was so much more to her than what met the eye. There were so many reasons why he fell for her like a hopeless fool.

The girl was smart, smart enough to know better than to have chosen a bitter old captain of a run down ship to be with. She was witty. Her sharp, little tongue never left him without an entertaining exchange or a good laugh. She was beautiful, but it wasn't a predictable beauty, one you'd tire of after a while but something all together unique to match her eccentricity. She was sexy without even knowing it. A slight curve of the lips and one look from underneath her eyelashes would leave him done for. She was everything a man could want to fight for.

She had bared her equally dark and light soul to him and what he saw there was more beautiful than all the supernovas in the 'verse. For a brief and fleeting moment, he had known what is was like to be happy, and now it was gone.

---

River stared blankly ahead while Simon carefully rewrapped the bandages around her torso, hoping to speed up the healing process. The bruising across her chest was still a deep purple-blue and her fractured ribs needed more time to mend before she could began reconditioning.

River was lost behind her own eyes, barely feeling in the present as her brother spoke to her. "_Mei mei_, where are you?" There was no sign of perception from his sister and he tried again with slight panic. "River."

Slowly, she tuned into her surroundings and turned her distant gaze to Simon who sat beside her.

"You are really starting to scare me. I haven't seen you this reclusive since, since…"

"Since I was out of my mind? Crazy, bonkers, unhinged?" River answered for him monotonically; she was still slightly distracted. She could feel him just outside the door again and it pained her that he refused to come in. The brick wall around his mind was impenetrable and she longed to know the damage she had caused before she could attempt any repair.

"_River_. I didn't mean to imply that…"

"It's ok, Simon." River quickly reassured. "I'm not going to revert. You don't have to worry."

"Well, I do worry, can't help it." A slight smile played on his lips as he jabbed his sister in the side with his finger. "It's a precursor older brothers are instilled with, part of our genetic makeup."

"The lesser of the species are always cursed with problematic younger sisters." She sarcastically retorted.

"At least we're back to making fun. That's a start. Now, care to let me in on what's troubling you?"

The energy faded, Mal was gone from outside her room. River sighed and let go of the hope and breath that she was holding on to that perhaps today would be different.

Yes, she had needed some time to sort things out, but she had never anticipated being cut off from Mal completely would leave her feeling this devastated.

River looked directly at Simon and let spill her quandary. "What's the use of being a genius if I can't realize an apposite solution?"

"Um. Have you anything else you want to talk about?" He dryly teased as he secured the final wrap in place with a clip.

"_Simon_."

"Alright. I suppose it doesn't matter how smart you are. No one is naturally _learned_ in that arena. Believe me; I know."

River smiled at that. "You were such a boob. Maybe you're not the ideal choice for advice."

"May I need remind you of the situation? Tease all you want, but you, little miss, have gotten yourself far deeper than even I could have managed."

"Fine, you win. I am the bigger boob."

Simon sighed. "No. You're just young and in way over your head. I really wish you would have come to me sooner."

"Can't go back."

"That is true. I'm not being much help am I?"

"You're here, and that's enough." River whispered quietly.

Simon wrapped his arms around his sister and hugged her downtrodden form gently before tilting her chin up to him. "River, I know you feel some big rush to provide answers, but you need to do what's best for _you_. If that includes more time to decide what you want, then take it. They can wait."

"Ok." She agreed.

"Ok." he affirmed.

"Simon?"

"Um?"

"I'm not angry."

"I know. You always were a little passive."

River gave her brother a look that said _very funny_. "Do they know?" she questioned.

"That you're passive? I imagine that's how…" River interrupted her brother's jesting with a fist to the arm.

"Ow! Do you always have to resort to violence?"

"You always were such a wimp." River countered.

"Thanks."

Simon looked acutely at is sister and stated seriously, "I don't know what they think. Haven't really sat down for a heart-to-heart. Just because you have forgiven them, doesn't mean I am ready to. You could have died, River."

"It was an accident. My doing culminated in the events. If you blame anyone, it should be me." She defended earnestly.

"I just don't think…" Simon began, when Kaylee bringing in a tray that smelled of all things unpleasant for River, interrupted him.

"Stop it you two." Kaylee commanded as she set the tray down. "It ain't anyone's fault. Things just happen."

Kayee smiled as she smoothed back River's hair. "Granted, around Jayne and the cap'n, those things just tend to be a bit more violenty." She then looked at Simon and announced airily. "They can't help it if they're both passionately in love with your sister."

Simon blanched at that, the absurdity of the situation never fully sinking in as it did when it was said aloud.

---

Later that day, there was a loud rap on her door, hard enough that she thought his fist might break through the thin material. He never could be quiet, even when they were sneaking around.

River granted her visitor entrance and he moved in, shutting the door behind him and plopping down on the chair adjacent to her bed. "Hey."

River carefully rolled over to face Jayne, resting her cheek on her hands and smiled.

"You feelin' any better yet?" Jayne eyed the heavy bandaging with a twinge of guilt.

"Reconstruction is slow but progressive. Feeling much improved, thank you."

"Well that's good." He scanned the room uncomfortably before turning his attention back to the girl on the bed. "Would have come ta see ya sooner, 'cept yer brother's been playin' keeper."

River smiled and reached for the man sitting awkwardly next to her.

Jayne's face puzzled. "Ya don't hate me?"

"Very few people I hate. You are not one of them."

"Yeah, but …"

"Come here." River commanded.

"_Alright_, no need to go all dominatrix on me. Well, suppose I wouldn't mind it if…"

"_Jayne_."

He chuckled as he got up and moved to sit next to her on the undersized bed, wrapping his arm around her small frame as River lay her head against his chest. "Always afraid I might crush ya one way or t'other, just didn't think it'd happen the way it did."

"Shhh." River directed as she closed her eyes and basked in the feel of having Jayne hold her.

They lay there like that a long while in comfortable but also insufferable silence before Jayne couldn't take it any longer, curiosity getting the best of him. "So. Can't imagine it bein' all that pleasant bein' cooped up in here wit' nothin' 'cept yer brother fer company. Anyone else come at see ya?"

"Kaylee and Zoë." River mumbled sleepily into his chest.

"Um. That all?"

"No, the captain has not visited."

"Oh."

River considered that for a moment before asking pensively. "Is Simon the reason he hasn't come?"

Jayne's whole body tensed acrimoniously like an animal rearing up on the offensive. "You'd rather him be here then?"

"Yes. No! I was just wondering if…" Before she could finish, or correct her slip of the tongue, he stood abruptly, tumbling the girl off his chest and back onto the bed with the action.

"_Cào dì you!" _He muttered angrily as he stalked out. Damn girl still had her mind stuck on Mal. The enraged part of him wondered why he even bothered to come in the first place. "See ya later." he called back bitterly as he walked out the door.

"Jayne, wait. I didn't mean…"

The door slammed shut and cut off her apology a second too late, the sharp sound resembling something like the pang regret she was feeling.

River carefully sat up with the thought of going after the merc, but a heavy pain from the bruising seared across her chest, enabling her to move no further. River conceded and plopped her head back on the pillow, annoyed with her helplessness.

---

Jayne stood at the entrance of the cockpit a while, watching Mal ball up little scraps of paper and toss them into the wastebasket across the room, before he finally cleared his throat and spoke up. "I'm here. What do ya want?"

Mal swiveled the pilot's chair towards Jayne and looked him up and down guardedly before answering. "You understand we have a job in a few days time?"

"Zoë done filled me in." Jayne responded curtly.

They were both silent for a long while, Jayne with his arms crossed against his brood chest in an imposing manner and Mal casually leaning back in the chair, unflinching.

Jayne finally broke the stare down and looked around casually before making his acute observation. "Where's Old Man River? He finally go all senile and croak yet?"

Mal shook his head in annoyance. "Jayne, may I remind you time and again that our pilot has a name. Just because he's a mite old…"

Jayne scoffed. "More like decaying…"

"_Doesn't_ in no way mean he ain't good for the job." Mal finished, braving through the interruption. "How is it that you can have issue with every newest member of my crew?"

The mercenary sneered while looking at the captain pointedly. "He ain't the only one I have a problem with."

"We can go there if that's where you're headed." Mal challenged, not liking the big guy's demeanor. He had taken great pains up until now to be civil but that front was wearing thin.

Jayne smirked cockily. "Don't think you could right handle another beating anyhow. Yer just about as ancient as Old Man River."

At that moment and before Mal could react, Zoë stepped in from behind Jayne. "There going to be a problem?"

Mal let the red drain from his face and tore his angry eyes from Jayne to look at his first mate. "Don't gotta worry, Zoë. The big guy here is just a hop, skip and a jump away from disembarking. Was just about to discuss how he wants that played out."

Jayne clenched his teeth. "As soon as possible, is what."

"Cap'n you know we can't…" Zoë tried to reason with him before she was cut off.

"No matter. We can manage. Might do better ridding ourselves of all and any traitors here abouts."

No one had noticed Kaylee slip in during the threats and tension until she had cried out. "Stop that right now! The both of you! You ain't learned a thing, have ya?"

Kaylee glared intently between Mal and Jayne as she spoke. "River's already laid up feeling for all the world guilty, an' alls you two can do is think of yourselves instead of trying to deal with the situation like civilized folk. _Bù kě jiù yào juān wēi xiao gēr ! _If was her, I wouldn't want a one of ya."

Kaylee singled out the merc standing next to her while he just stared on blankly. "Jayne, your problem is you're always threatenin' to beat a man down rather than just givin' him a good talkin' to. Can't even own up to your feelings most of the time. Isn't that what got you in this mess in the first place?"

She subsequently turned to her next victim, sternly eying Mal as he waited for the verbal assault he knew he had coming. "An' Capt'n, when things get a speck bumpy, you resort to your high and mighty captainy powers to rid off whomever thinks dissimilar to yourself. Done it high an' time before an' it ain't ever solved a thing!"

The mechanic took a deep breath before continuing on to the both of them. "Ya'll are too busy worryin' about who's gonna get the girl instead of just bein' concerned about _her_. If ya'll really cared 'bout River, if ya'll wanted to prove yourselves, do something really miraculous for a change an' ruttin' get along!"

With another long string of explicit mandarin, Kaylee stomped out of the cockpit, leaving a couple masculine jaws hanging open in her wake.

Zoë smirked at the boys before following in the mechanic's stride.

Mal slumped back against his chair, defeated. "Huh. How about that? She said ruttin'."

Jayne looked out in a daze towards the empty space where the girls had retreated to and muttered. "Yeah, somehow it just don't seem right."

TBC…

Approximate Chinse translations:

_yuán rén - ape-man_

_Cào dì you! _- fucing hell.

_Bù kě jiù yào juān wēi xiao gēr !- _Hopeless, sad, little boys!


	11. Chapter 11

Life aboard Serenity had arrived at a somber stalemate.

Each and every night for two months, River lay motionless on her bed until she had sensed that every last pair of eyelids had fluttered closed. Then she would wait a bit longer until everyone had finally sunk into the depths of slumber before tenuously and ever so quietly slipping from her room to make the long, languorous journey down to the cargo bay.

She was determined to no longer be a burden or remain bedridden and helpless. If she couldn't realize a clear perspective on her love life, then in the very least, she could attempt to reclaim management over her state of being.

When her nightly trips became less strenuous, she spent the following hours in the hold using academy-learned fundamentals as physically therapy. She began with the soft movements of Tai Chi to gradually strengthen her body and regain balance. In time, when her muscle strength increased and her chest no longer burned in pain, she practiced the 82 different forms of embedded martial arts training.

Her dance of death was a thing of beauty. Her body shifted and moved with precise skill as she employed her limbs in deliberate, quick motions. When she grew bored with her katas, she incorporated various types of weapons into her workouts, upping the challenge.

The nights she used Jayne's weights for strength training, she was careful to position them back in their rightful places as not to raise question. During the few times Jayne or Mal wondered down into the hold on suspicion of sound, she simply disappeared into the shadows and held her breath.

No one needed to know yet why she was so determined and in such a hurry to become well.

During this time, the rest of the crew was kept extremely busy thanks to a series of jobs Mal had taken on. Everyone was exhausted from the unusual abundance of employment and having little time to rest and prepare in between missions.

River was never asked to join the crew on their recent adventures. Simon had assured her it was for the best, and naturally not having to send his sister out into gunplay left him feeling relieved.

A familiar feeling of alienation followed, despite the logical reasoning that everyone was just concerned for her safety and health. River always felt at the height of her sanity when she was needed, when she could put to use the weapon into which the government had made her.

---

Jayne had stolen quietly down again in the middle of the night to watch River. Situated high above the bay at the entrance of the catwalk, he silently observed her.

Her weapons gleamed when they caught the few lights cast from overhead and he smirked as he watched her move. No matter how many times he'd seen her twirl destructively about, it never ceased to impress the matching fighter in himself.

He had come down a few nights back, his gun fully cocked and loaded after hearing a loud clanging noise. If there was another operative about, he wanted to make damn sure he wasn't going to miss out on the action this time around.

Scanning the bay with tracker eyes, he spotted the girl's red sweater hung up over the weight bench and smiled to himself. After pretending to leave, he hung back a while and watched as she emerged from her hiding spot.

He had no idea what River was up to, but it was obvious she didn't want anyone to know about it. For a brief moment he considered letting Mal in on the whole situation but then he remembered he despised the captain beyond reason.

He had heard Kaylee loud and clear that night, but it didn't keep his lips from twitching when the captain walked in the room all high and mighty like. It always seemed the 'verse revolved around Mal and his word as law.

Mostly, he was bitter that despite his best efforts, he couldn't win back River because Mal had to go and play hero again.

What was it that was so gorram special about Mal that every woman from Triumph to Sihnon flocked to him? Cap could have any damn girl he wanted, why did he have to settle his sights on crazy?

Deep down, he knew exactly why. It was the same reason he couldn't give her up. She was like some sick, addicting drug. One hit and your body never forgets the high.

Most of the time, he spent his nights fantasizing about his object of obsession. His thoughts would start out with soft, long, dark hair spilling over his stomach and thighs as he held her head gently in place. His fantasy would then continue with him devouring her flesh with his hot mouth, enjoying the phantom taste of every inch of her. Doused in a sweat, he would climax to the memory of her voice as she cried his name.

As much as he wanted to grab hold and kiss those little pouty lips when she walked on by, he didn't. Things were different now.

Jayne looked down at River one last time before heading back to his bunk. She was doing some insane stretchy thing, her lithe body bending in ways that made him hope she would hurry and come to her senses soon.

River suddenly looked up when she heard the catwalk creak. She was confronted with feelings of intense longing before she spied the retreating form of the mercenary.

River sighed and picked up her pace, vigorously drowning her guilt with fiery pain and sweat.

----

The only interactions River allowed herself to have with Mal and Jayne were during dinner time and in passing. She was determined to get her head on straight before moving forward with anyone.

She wore her old baggy clothes again and stopped wearing her sweet smelling perfumes. Late nights conveniently kept her in bed until late afternoon. The less she saw of them the easier it would be, or so she thought.

Proximity, alone, was a dangerous thing.

River found she couldn't stop the emotive racing of her heart whenever Mal glanced her way. His sad gaze would linger for the briefest of moments before he feigned indifference and looked away. This caused the beating in her chest to falter and almost seize altogether.

Nor could she make her skin stop burning in sweet pleasure as Jayne's fantasies crawled into her dreams, haunting her nights with ecstasy. It took everything she had to resist the temptation to drop down into his bunk and stretch her body across his and dream with him.

Regardless of how hard she tried not to feel them, love and lust, anger and disappointment, it had swirled together as one and blasted its way into her awareness.

---

Mal stood broodingly at the entrance to River's room. He held his breath and steadied himself with his right hand as he watched her sleeping form gently rise and fall.

The gratifying emotion of finally being able to see her unheeded conflicted sharply with his embittered inner struggle as he tried to grasp the reality of the situation.

It had been so long, he wondered were he stood in her eyes, in her heart, and then he wondered if he should even care at all.

Her sweet voice cut through the night and startled his dubious thoughts. "You have a bad habit of doing that."

"Doing what?" Mal questioned as he stepped further into the room and looked down across the gentle curve of her neck, following its line down her back.

"Watching me sleep." River mumbled into her pillow.

Mal thought back to all the times he stood pondering the existence of River Tam while observing her handsome face, relaxed during the peace of unconsciousness.

"It's not always quiet in my dreams. Battles rage there too." Her voice was tight with emotion as she spoke. "We cannot escape pandemonium no matter where we retreat."

Understanding her double meaning, he nodded in accord.

River slowly propped herself up so she could fully appreciate Mal's presence. He looked tired and worn out, and his shoulders drooped like a beaten man. At that moment she desperately wanted to return the grace she had taken from him, to see him smile again, if only once.

There was a dense silence as their gazes locked together. Even in the dim lighting her eyes shone bright. They were absolutely mystifying. She was entirely a mystery and it was hard for him to determine exactly what she was feeling. He had only just begun to understand the complexities of her tortured soul, even if mirrored his own.

He had asked her once if she was the girl or the weapon. Ironically, as he had come to find out, both were equally detrimental.

Mal spoke up, piercing the quiet. "Merely wanted to see how you were holdin' up. I'm gonna…I got things to do," he finished lamely. As he turned to leave, River beckoned to him.

"Don't leave. There are things left unspoken." She patted the empty spot next to her on the bed and ordered him to sit.

Mal hesitated. "Think I'll stand. Say your peace."

River flinched at the icy distance that laced her captain's tone. She had wounded him deeply, tore a hole where repair was unreachable.

He needed to understand. She needed to make him understand. River took a deep, painful breath and looked at Mal mournfully. "Should have confided in you from the start despite your assertions otherwise."

Mal remembered reassuring a sobbing River time and again, telling her that she could talk to him about her troubles when she was ready even though it tore him up inside not knowing the source of her pain.

He had assumed that her state was triggered by some horrific academy flashback. Never in his wildest imagination would he have guessed Jayne as the source of her heartache.

"He broke me." River concurred, picking up on Mal's comprehension. "I came to you. You have always picked me up after falling. Saved me despite your uncertainty. You held me and gave me comfort. I did not expect to relish in it."

Mal allowed himself to forget the moment and smile at the memory of their harmonious beginnings. "We had ourselves some good times. I thought that we…"

Disconcerting images of Jayne and River together suddenly tumbled unnervingly through his mind, interrupting the happy picture of what could have been. "Doesn't matter, things change. _People _change."

River contemplated a moment. "They do. Jayne has. You've seen it too."

Mal's face drained of its color and life. "You do what you need to darlin'. No one's stopping ya."

River fought the pressure of tears welling up behind her eyes as they slowly dripped to the front and stung her vision.

Mal froze as he began to notice moisture glossing her eyes and her bottom lip starting to quiver. Damn if he didn't have a soft spot for crying girls, this one especially.

"The love is different, yet the same." River whispered faintly, looking down at her hands and then back up for his reaction.

Mal couldn't help himself. As much as he wanted to understand her, it felt like he was being branded with a hot iron. "Yeah, well, that's all good and gone now. You and me, altogether that was just a lapse in proper judgment." He sternly asserted this point and then looked away, avoiding all and any eye contact.

"You don't believe that." River whispered hopefully.

"I do." he answered firmly.

River was quiet a moment before relenting. "Ok."

"Fine. Great. _What_?" Caught off guard, Mal turned his stunned expression back to River.

"You're right. It was a mistake. All of it." she exasperated, her eyes shining with hurt. "You, Jayne, my being here. Should have never taken a chance on love. We gamble with our lives every job we undertake. I've calculated the probability for peril and it's certain. Ridiculous to think we could do the same with our hearts. Life is disposable. Love is not even worth its prospect."

Mal put his hands up in defense. "Whoa there, slow down now. You implyin' I'm scared?"

"Most definitely. But I understand. It's easier to live this life simply. No complications. Eat, breathe, kill and die. Sounds extraordinary." River replied sarcastically.

"Don't think I don't know what your playin' at, lil' one. That psychobabble crap don't work on me. I was just as contented before. Can be that way again. You're making this more complicated than need be." He lied.

"Peacefully happy and satisfied with the way things are, or with what you have done or achieved." River agreed.

"Don't patronize me," he snapped. She was wearing him down, making his already confused feelings more chaotic than they were to begin with.

"I'll stop if you confess."

Mal glared at her and answered her challenge, weary of playing games. "Confess what? That I was falling for you more'n I'd like to admit? That I finally found somethin' in this 'verse worthwhile and none of it meant a gorram thing? That your being with Jayne is somehow supposed to make me feel thrilled? 'Cause it don't. Is that what you want to hear? Honestly, I don't think ya know what you want."

Mal turned once again to leave when he felt River grab his hand in both of hers and yank him back, forcing him to look at her. "I do. I know what I need now."

The captain finally relented and sat on the edge of the bed. River slowly brought his hands to her lips and kissed them. "I'm sorry. For everything." He could feel her tremble as hot tears fell from her face and left wet, burning trails across his skin. "You won't like it." She whispered, her voice quivering.

Mal felt his heart swell in panic. This was it. He was going to lose her. As much as he tried to tell himself it would be better this way, alone with his freedom and Serenity, he felt her loss even more.

He peered into her tear-streaked face, her black lashes glistening. She was so beautiful sometimes he forgot himself. Gently, he brushed his thumb across her cheek wiping away a lone tear. All he ever wanted was to make her happy, and if she had made him happy in return, then that was just an added bonus.

Leaning in, he pressed his mouth against her soft, warm lips savoring one last salty tear-stained kiss as he felt a pleasant spark seep into his heart.

River sank into his lips and tenderly returned his kiss as vertigo swept over her mind and body. Mal squeezed his eyes shut and silently prayed to his forsaken god that it wouldn't be their last. Pulling away, he braced himself for her words.

River took a minute to recover, her expression slightly surprised by the power of the kiss. Hesitation for what she was about to say creeped up on her but she determinately shook it away. Her heart pounded with a combination of love and fear as she gathered up the courage to speak. "I cannot bear to hurt you or Jayne any longer. Been the cause of so much unhappiness. Always upsetting the balance of things. Have a chance to rectify that now."

Squeezing Mal's rough hands in her dainty ones, River declared with absolute certainty the decision she had secretly resolved to keep while first starting on her path to recomposing her life and emotional sanity. "I'm leaving Serenity."

TBC…


	12. Chapter 12

Notes: Post BDM 1 yr. + I had a few possible directions I wanted to take this story and when it came down to the wire, this is what felt most fitting.

---

River unlatched and swung open the large barn doors as dawn broke over the lush, sprawling pastures. Feeling the light at her back, she turned to appreciate the brilliant golden-white rays of sunlight as they slowly stretched across the dusky sky.

A chill from the frigid morning air employed her to wrap her arms firmly around herself. She loved the cold as it nipped the tip of her nose and made her eyes water. The frigid sting made her feel alive.

River preferred to get up before the house stirred and the ranch hands arrived to start the day. It was easier to converse with the animals in the still of early morning.

As she set out fresh hay for the horses and placed the milking stools next to the dairy cows, she reflected on her time with the Fryes.

It had been two months since she'd last heard or seen from anyone on Serenity. The plan to leave had been formulated with the help of Kaylee and Simon when it became obvious that the circumstances were causing tremendous and dangerous emotional confliction among the three involved.

Mal had become even more withdrawn after she had confessed her plans to leave, like somehow it would make the transition easier if he broke away completely.

Jayne had punched his hand through a crate the day he found out. A couple times he tried to talk her out of leaving but to no advantage.

River was convinced that once she left, they would realize how much easier things would be for all of them. After all, she had been the cause of most of their troubles and firmly believed she was liberating them from a life of nuisance.

Her life on Aberdeen was filled with temperateness. Mrs. Frye's big, hearty laugh and Mr. Frye's soft, quite demeanor created a balance she admired. They treated her like one of their own and she repaid their kindness with hard work around the home and ranch.

Kaylee's family had provided her with a stable dwelling into which to escape, a place to find herself without the turmoil of confused love, and she was thankful for that.

As peaceful as she now felt with her surrogate family, she longed for her real one on Serenity. She missed Simon's nurturing and fretting, Kaylee's friendship, baby Caleb's infectious giggles, Zoe's quiet strength, Jayne's misplaced humor and Mal's protective nature. She even missed the new-old pilot's kooky stories and shaky smile.

For all the strength she had accumulated since leaving home, there was a new sensation lurking about. It felt as if something was mislaid, like a part of herself had been lost. Every day the feeling gradually worsened.

Something big and hollow was opening up inside of her, threatening to swallow her whole.

She tried to push the bleak emotion down deep and lock it away. The decision to come here had been the right one. Regret would do nothing but hamper her purpose.

River meticulously ran a brush through her horse's tan coat while smoothing her hand gently across its back to calm the creature. She worked for hours with a quiet diligence until the entire animal was burnished clean.

The Fryes had given her the mare so she could help herd the beef cattle when they were low on hands. River had instantly found that she was a quick-tempered beast with an insatiable appetite. Using the horse's personality as a precursor, she named the animal Jayne.

Her thoughts of past and present were soon interrupted by the sound of a man's voice emerging from behind. River turned around to find Colton, Kaylee's only and younger brother by two years, smiling oddly at her.

She looked down contemplatively at her skirt and then around her for anything that might be out of place. When she found nothing, she looked back at him in question.

Colton ran his hands through his thick, black hair and chuckled at her confusion. "It's nothin'. Just every time I see ya, you're brushin' that dang horse. It's kinda cute."

River blushed shyly and turned back to Jayne, hiding the smile on her face.

---

For the sixth time since River disembarked form Serenity, she was stagnant.

This time she was on some godforsaken moon called Ita. Scavengers from all parts of the 'verse flocked here to pick the bones off the dead and living alike. I wasn't the sort of place anyone wanted to be stranded.

Kaylee, Zoë, and Mal had spent all day plucking through the already thoroughly foraged junkyards while the rest stayed behind to guard the ship. They had already been to the poor, run down excuse for a town and could find nothing.

Kaylee kicked at the broken pieces of piping and scrap and sighed. "I just don't get it cap'n. It's like we're cursed or somethin'."

"Don't be sayin' no such thing, lil' Kaylee. There are parts about. We just ain't lookin' hard enough."

Cap, everythin' here is ground to bits. There's nothin'. It ain't just that neither. Serenity's never been broken up this bad. She's sick somethin' fierce an' somethin' tells me she ain't gonna make it this time."

Zoe noticed the familiar angry set jaw on the captain and stepped in to save the mechanic from a mouth full. "Kaylee's right, Sir. Things are bad. Gonna get shoddier to if we do nothing. We need a plan B."

Mal looked between the girls' tired, grease stained faces and set his irritation aside. Deep down he knew they were right, but the fight in him was hard to contain, especially when it came to his ship's and his crew's survival.

He didn't understand why their luck had been so bad lately. If he believed in karma, religion or anything for that matter, it might be easier to make sense of it all.

All he knew was that things had gone from bad to worse the day River took one of the shuttles and flew away in the opposite direction.

Just thinking about those soft, brown eyes, as mournful as they were the day she left, sent a sharp pang throughout his chest.

Regret was a constant disease for him. There were so many things he could have handled differently in his life and this was just one more. He felt black inside, like most of him was dead or dying.

Shadows had begun to creep over the junkyard as the sun disappeared behind the towering mounds of scrap. It would be dark soon and Mal knew they needed to get back before the scum came out to play with their lives.

Letting out a deep breath, he addressed the weary girls. "Fine. We'll come back at first light. If there's nothing, it's plan B."

---

River and Colton sat on the front porch of the Frye's simple 4-square style home eating their supper in mutual silence. The late afternoon sun illuminated everything in deep golds and oranges, making it appear as if the fields were ablaze. The light rustling of trees or a distant moo from the cattle were the only natural music to fill the air.

River absentmindedly picked at her food as she stared off down the long dirt road that lead from the house. Once again Colton startled her from distant thoughts. These self-induced abstractions were happening more frequently lately and she couldn't determine why.

"Fine supper, Miss River. You're becoming quite the cook."

River looked to the boy next to her on the porch stoop and smiled her thanks. "It's just River. No prefixes necessary."

"Sorry. It's hard to break free from the habits you're raised with. I'll be less formal from now on, promise." More pearly whites were flashed her way, making her nervous and causing her to look down at her cold plate of food.

Once again, she returned her gaze to the lonely road ahead. The logical part of her knew exactly where the road led but the illusory part feared its foreign twists and turns as it led far off into the unknown.

Colton noticed River's despondent demeanor and chanced a guess as to the reason. "I miss her too, ya know."

"Kaylee?"

"Yeah. Was just a scrappy little teenager when she took to the sky. You remind me a bit of her, in a less talkative more intense sort of way. You both bring life to this place."

River couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"Most would say I bring destruction."

Colton arched his eyebrow in disbelief as he eyed River's petite form up and down. "Alright, If you say so."

River was desperate to change the subject. None of them needed to know the other side of her temperament, the part that had a deadly aim and inhuman reflexes. "What was it like when Kaylee resided here?"

"I don't know. Sunnier, brighter, I guess. Ma and Pa had a bit more spark to them when she was around. She'd always be helpin' pa down at the shop, but when the business failed we figured ranchin' would be the more profitable way to go. We was always tryin' to get her to help out but she never bit. Most of the time we'd find her hangin' around the shipyard or the docks in the city. Pa's been real quiet since she left. We all knew she would eventually, her bein' a restless sprit an' all."

"What about you? Ever want to escape?"

"Naw, I like it right fine here. 'Sides, someone has to look after the folks."

"But if you didn't have too?"

"Well, I reckon I wouldn't mind traveling a spell, see what Kaylee's always trillin' on about. Gotta be somethin' wonderful up there to keep ya'll in the black for so long."

River tilted her head back and set her gaze to the cool blue sky, imagining past the atmosphere and into the vast galaxy beyond. Colton's words evoked memories that flooded through her mind like a dream, instantly waking a part of her she had almost forgotten since arriving.

"I'm talkin' too much, ain't I?" Colton asked when he noticed he had lost River's attention once again.

River pulled her eyes from the heavens and the door to her dormant memories slammed shut. "No, I enjoy your company. It's a pleasant distraction."

"Distraction from what? If you don't mind my asking it."

"The past, the future, the truth."

"Sounds involved."

"It's complicated."

"Well, you have the right to your secrets. Just glad you're here, been a big help to us. Also, I ain't ever seen one horse so thoroughly groomed." He teased.

River stood up, suddenly feeling embarrassed by all the flattery and reached for his plate. "Thanks. But I'm the one indebted." Colton rose with her, both holding on to the dish. "I got it. You cooked, let me wash up."

They were face-to-face, so close she could make out the tiny, scattered freckles dotting his young, tanned face.

River froze, gripping the plate fiercely as she read the intent sparkling in his hazel eyes. Panic hammered away at her insides as he leaned in. She squeezed her eyes shut, bracing herself for the kiss and feeling for all the world out of place.

She waited.

"River?"

Opening her eyes slowly, she found Colton standing back and looking utterly perplexed. "River, you're crying."

Using her free hand, she brought it up to her face to find her cheeks damp.

"You don't want to kiss me, do you?"

River shook her head and looked down. "I'm sorry."

"He's a lucky Man. The one ya keep looking down the road for."

River looked up with a faint smile on her lips, and corrected him, pointing her finger upwards towards the sky.

---

They had all slept in shifts that night, making sure someone was awake at all times to listen out for bandits. Morning came slowly and tediously, and fortunately, without anything particularly eventful going down. If they spent one more night on the wretched planet, Mal wasn't so sure they'd be as lucky.

Before they once again headed out to scour for engine parts, Mal decided it was better not to waste time and implemented plan B. He sent multiple waves out, requesting assistance and parts from Porfiro and Otis co-pilots of the ship _Ariane_, Monty and his boat the _Duran_, and Marceline and her ship, _Siu._

He had learned from experience that it was safer to seek help from those he knew and could trust. Having worked with these particular Captains and crews before, he felt comfortable with this course of action. He just hoped one of them was nearby enough to come to their aid soon.

By noon, nothing had materialized and they were all weary and beat down with disappointment. Mal sat down on an old hunk of something he couldn't make out and rubbed his hands through his hair in frustration. It was then his radio crackled and Jayne's voice boomed out loud and clear. "Mal, you there? What's yer location? Over."

Mal adjusted the speaker in his ear as he scanned the ugly, grey scrap yard, irritably kicking an old tire out of the way before answering sarcastically. "Happened ourselves upon some fine establishment. We're all sittin' back, drinkin' rich wine and eatin' fine cheeses. Just havin' ourselves a merry old time. Wish ya coulda been here."

There was a moment's pause before the static returned and the merc answered back. "Really? Bring us back some of that will ya? Over."

Mal sighed, irritated. "Jayne, there something in particular you need?"

"Yeah, Mal. I mean, affirmative. Monty answered yer wave just now. Said he were just a few clicks away an' ta sit tight. Hey, do they have those meats on a stick where yer at? Over."

Mal rolled his eyes and responded. "We're headin' back just now, an' stop usin' codewords. It ain't necessary."

"Rodger that."

---

River tossed and turned in her sleep, whimpering as panicked dreams raced behind her eyelids.

_She was lost in the woods. It was cold, dark and a feeling of utter desolation hollowed her heart. The massive trees creaked and howled as a bitter wind ripped through them. Some were so hideous they looked as if the might come alive. Her long, white gown repeatedly became ensnared in the undergrowth as she twisted and turned her way through the jumbled maze. _

_River closed her eyes and wished herself awake. A distant part of her knew this must be a dream, that it couldn't be real. Then she felt the hot sting of her tears as they ran down her frozen cheeks. Terror sized her mind as she realized that tears were tangible. _

_Hours passed as minutes in her alternate reality, the clock to doom dreadfully ticking down. She was beginning to lose hope of ever finding her way out. She thought about all the things she would miss as she died alone in the middle of nothing. Faces of all the people she had ever loved faded away along with her faith._

_When she came to a small, misted clearing, her heart hoped for a moment at escape until she spied more thick, snarling trees just beyond. She was completely surrounded. _

_Crumpling to the ground, River pressed her face into the earth as she sobbed. She didn't want to be alone anymore. The remembrance of something wonderful contrasted painfully with her current state. _

_She had run from the light before she could appreciate its warmth and now she agonizingly felt its loss. _

_The loss was of a man that cherished her mind, body and soul. A man that saw her for what she really was and never pushed her away. _

_In this dark place, she realized it was him she had needed all along. She was lost, and the woods were the only place where he could see a clear path._

River gasped as she shot straight up in bed, her dreams and realizations choking the air from her lungs. Her heart pounded with a clear definitive truth and an aching need to immediately see, touch and hold the man she loved with all her heart.

---

They had gotten back to the ship just as Monty and the crew he sailed with arrived. The large man came stomping down the ramp, heartily bellowing his greetings. "Malcolm! Been too long, you old knocker!"

Mal smiled and tried to sound enthusiastic. He was relieved to see the big lug, really. It was just hard for him to actually _feel_ any of these things. "Monty. Thanks for comin' to our aide. Hope we didn't inconvenience you none."

"No trouble at all. Was in yer corner of space. Guess it's yer lucky day!" The two old friends embraced and then Monty took his turn greeting the rest of the crew that had joined the captain to welcome him.

"Hey, where's your lady, Reynolds? Last time we spoke, you mentioned ya had ya self a girl. Name was somethin' peculiar like, Lake 'r Ocean." Monty looked around for the small, dark-haired hair beauty as she had been described.

"River." Jayne grumbled as he tinkered with Vera.

Mal looked a moment at Jayne, who was doing his best at keeping himself occupied with his weapon, and then turned his attention back to Monty. "It's a long story full of woe. Ain't one I really want to get into."

Kaylee sensed the captain's tension and spoke up to satisfy Monty's honest query. "River left us to go stay on world a while back."

"That so? Well, s'long as she ain't parked on Aberdeen, I reckon it's better than bein' here, by the sounds of y'all's misfortunes."

Simon stepped forward in alarm. "Back up a second. Aberdeen? Why would it be best if my sister were not there in particular?"

"Just before we got yer call fer help, saw us a news broadcast over the Cortex sayin' something 'bout Reavers bein' in da area." Monty answered. "Stood out, 'Cause they ain't ever come that far in afore."

Everyone reacted at once. Kaylee's face dropped as her eyes widened in fright. Simon paled as he turned to hug his wife.

Zoë bristled a bit as she looked to Jayne and the Captain for their reactions before speaking up. "That's exactly where River's situated. What's more, it's Kaylee's kin she's stayin' with."

Jayne's voice was grave. "There a chance they could be wrong? I mean, on occasion these things git exaggerated."

Monty looked at the big guy with the utmost seriousness. "Don't think so, son."

Kaylee turned to the captain, tears already working themselves down her face as she pleaded. "Cap'n, we gotta…"

Mal's expression was grim. "I know, Kaylee." With a pleading look he turned to his longtime friend. "Monty, I understand this is askin' a lot…"

Monty cut him off. "Then ya don't gotta to ask it, Reynolds. You've been there high tide when I needed ya, just glad to repay the deed. You'll have to leave your ship, though. Can't guarantee she'll be here when we get back. If we get back."

Mal turned and looked up at his boat. "Guess I'll just have to take that chance."

---

A gush of turbulent wind ripped through the fields as the deafening roar of an engine caused the cattle to scatter and run towards the hills. River dismounted her horse and looked to the sky, shielding her eyes from the sun until a massive ship darkened the blue above her.

It flew steadily overhead and then past the farmhouse, starting its descent just beyond. The ship felt vaguely familiar but she couldn't be sure.

The only weapon she had on her was a small knife strapped to her leg just inside her boot. Kneeling down, she withdrew the blade and proceeded with caution towards the house, leading Jayne by the reins.

When River reached the side of the house, she quickly tied the animal up and pressed her back up against the wall, slowly edging her way towards the corner. It was then she heard Mal barking orders to check the house, and then Kaylee's baffled declaration that nothing looked a speck out of place.

A wide smile broke across River's face and her heart started to pound at hearing the familiar voices. Emerging from around the corner, she found everyone not ten feet away, their weapons drawn and proceeding with caution in her direction.

Jayne was the first to spot her and lower his weapon to his side. He strode forward and scooped her up with his free arm into a hug. She gently hugged him back, a million and one things curiously running through her mind.

"River!" Kaylee exclaimed as she made her way over and joined in on the embrace. "You're alive!"

River stepped back and cocked her head to the side in puzzlement. "You expected to find me deceased?"

Jayne shot Kaylee a look. "It ain't like she's helpless. Prolly have a better chance of makin' it more'n anyone here."

Mal and Simon joined them. Zoe had disappeared around the house to survey the grounds. Simon stepped forward next to hug his sister and inspect her up and down. Instinctually he checked her face, hands and arms for anything out of place. River anxiously pulled her hands from his grasp, eager to know why they were here. "Simon, I'm alright. What's this about? Where's Serenity?"

River turned from Simon to meet the captain's eyes, her own full of questions. The world seemed to fade away a moment as they took in one another.

Mal was quick to answer her question. "We got word not two days ago that Reavers were headed this way."

As he spoke, his eyes were locked with hers as if they we the only two people in existence. "Serenity's a bust as of now, dead in the water. Monty was so kind as to come to our rescue. We came swift as his ship could sail us, thinkin' you was in peril. Must say, we pretty much expected to drop down into either havoc or aftermath. Glad to find it's neither."

Merely seeing the girl that tormented his soul for so long, standing there unharmed, helped drained some of the tension from his body.

God, how he had missed her. Missed her long brown hair always flying wildly about. Missed those flimsy, little dresses she was always wearing come rain or shine. Missed her large, brown eyes as they pierced his soul with their weighty depth.

In this very moment he missed her more than ever, despite being just an arm's breadth away.

River was in a daze. He was really here. He had come to save her again, rescue her body and hopefully now her heart. She smiled brightly and stepped closer towards him, never breaking their gaze as she put them all at ease with her words. "Would have felt them coming. That's what I was constructed for, to sense their rage. There is no danger here."

Before River had a chance to convey to Mal exactly just how much she needed him, a blood-curtailing scream erupted from the house.

Mrs. Frye came running out with Monty in pursuit. "Woman, I done told you I ain't here ta hurt a hair on yer head! Quit yer bellowing! Yer gonna attract da beasts!"

Kaylee rushed forward to her mother's aid and grabbed her hands. The woman was deathly pale and looked as if she might faint at any moment.

"Hordes of strange men…big guns." Mrs. Frye tried to catch her breath as she did a double take. It was just dawning on her that her daughter was here in the flesh.

Kaylee put a comforting arm around her mother. "Mom, dontchya worry none. Things are shiny. We's just here because we thought Reavers were gonna eat ya'll alive."

"Oh. Ok." The woman answered complacently, still in a stupor.

Mrs. Frye soon began to regain her composure, excitement filling in at finally seeing her long-lost daughter. The jolly woman smiled big as she hugged her baby tight and she chattered on. "I can't believe ya'll are here! It's been too long, Kaywinnet! Let me have a good lookin' at ya. You're a bit on the skinny side, ain't ya? That captain of yours ain't given you enough to eat. No matter, we'll fill you up right good. Now, where's that fine husband of yours? An' my grand babe? He ain't alone on the ship, is he?"

"No, ma. Our pilot's lookin' after him. Come, meet Simon." Kaylee chirped with pride as she proceeded to introduce her mother to her husband and the rest of the crew.

Monty sidestepped the woman who was hollering at him not just a minute before and stood next to Mal. "Coast clear then, Reynolds?"

"Looks like."

They both watched as Jayne hugged River once more and as they began to converse with each other. River's face lit up as she thought of her most telling news. "I named my horse after you. Come meet her."

"Her?" Jayne puzzled.

River smiled roguishly up at the mercenary. "Yes. Jayne _is_ a girls name."

"Girl, you ever gonna quit with that?"

"Nope. Come on, you'll like her. She starts trouble with the other horses." River pulled on Jayne's shirt as he begrudgingly followed. "Quit that! Yer strechin' the fabric," he complained, acting for all the world put out, despite the small, hidden smile on his face.

"Them two are sure close." Monty observed.

Mal sighed. "You have no idea."

---

Everyone sat around the bonfire, talking in turn, merrily telling stories and all feeling relieved the day hadn't turned out worse than originally feared.

The fire crackled and sent squiggly sparks shooting into the air as Mal pushed the wood around with a long tree branch.

River peered through the flames and observed a slight smile on Mal's face as he kept himself occupied by the blaze. At the moment he was amused by Mrs. Fry's cheery retelling of River's first time milking their grumpy dairy cow, Wilma.

Mal was thinking about how cute she must have looked while trying to work out the logistics to no avail. It led him think about how happy she must have been to finally get away and live somewhere normal.

The smile faded from his face as the heart sinking realization set in that the girl was contented here. In the back of his mind he had secretly hoped that perhaps she had been as miserable as he had been in the months past.

Doubt and discouragement poured off the man across from her as she watched the beam on his handsome face fade. River's heart screamed to her to go to the very person who made her skin pulse with life and ease his suffering with the truth she could hardly contain.

Just then, her thoughts of Mal were interrupted by Jayne's deep belly laugh. He smiled and winked at her when she turned to look at him. Dread reared it's ugly head as she realized there was something else she needed to take care of. She owed him that much.

Leaning in, she whispered into his ear. "May we talk?"

Jayne noticed the concern on River's face as he answered back. "Yeah, what's up?"

"Not here, somewhere private." River stood and grabbed the merc's hand, pulling him away from the chattering and laughter into the dim fields beyond.

Mal looked up just in time to see River lead Jayne away. His whole body went weak at the sight. The last twinge of hope he might have possessed disappeared into the night with the couple .

When they reached one of the post fences, River stopped and climbed up, perching herself on the wood railing. Tilting her head back, she let the thousands of glittering stars fill her vision before she took a deep breath and looked at resolutely at Jayne. "I need you to do something for me."

Jayne crossed his arms and leaned against the fence. "Anything. You name it."

"Do you really mean that? You have to mean it." She asked in all seriousness.

"Know I'd do just about anything fer ya. Shoot." Jayne said casually, but he was getting the nagging feeling that maybe he should have said no or something. The girl was looking at him all peculiar like and that didn't bode well with how he'd thought this little talk would go.

"Alright." She sucked in another breath before asking more of Jayne than she ever had before. "I need you to let go."

"Come again?" He had heard her loud and clear. It was just taking a little time to fully register the actual words.

"Break free. Move on. Cut the ties that bind." River rambled nervously, her whole body tensed and waiting for turbulence to erupt.

Jayne's expression hardened as he stared off into the night.

"Jayne?" she urged, worried. Quiet was more frightening than anger.

"Hush, girl! I'm thinkin'."

Of all the things he never knew he wanted, a shiny girl to spend whatever numbered days he had left with was the most surprising. But he'd be a fool not to know that the gig was up, to know when there weren't nothing left.

He turned to the girl who drove him mad in every way since the very beginning. It was his turn to ask a question, one for which he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer. "Ya really love him, dontchya?"

"Yes." River avowed with total certainty.

"An' this'll make ya happy, me walkin' away?"

"Not happy. This isn't easy for me. Would never have been confused if you didn't affect me." She looked at Jayne compassionately, the first man by whom she had been enraptured. Beneath his detached façade, there really was a good person waiting to be discovered.

Jayne sighed. "Guess I really blew it, huh?"

"Tragic misstep of time and circumstances."

The bewildered expression on his face prompted her to reiterate. "Poor timing."

"Yeah, I guess. Coulda treated ya better."

"We can't undo the past. Yours is an unhealthy progression of thoughts," she schooled, in her all-knowing, bratty manner.

"Can't ya let a man wallow a bit?" He griped.

River poked at his shoulder. "It's not befitting of you."

Jayne kicked at the ground, digging a hole in the dirt with his boot. They were both silent a while, neither of them knowing what to say next.

River hopped down from the fence and grabbed his large hand, pulling him with her back to the group.

As they walked, River broke the silence with encouraging guidance. "There will be other fish, ones less inclined to sporadic psychotic episodes."

"Somehow, I doubt it." Jayne squeezed her hand. "Yer the only moon brain worth puttin' up with. Don't right think I'll ever find a girl as crazy as you."

"You could opt for sanity." she teased.

He smiled a sad smile. "Overrated."

They were nearing the group, which had greatly diminished since they had left.

"Jayne?" River swung his arm back and forth.

"Um?" He absentmindedly swung back.

"I'll never stop loving you."

"I know it."

---

When River awoke the next morning, she quickly dressed herself and hurried down the stairs to find Mal.

When she gotten back to the bonfire the previous night, he was already gone. She had searched for him endlessly before finally giving up and going to bed.

Her whole body coursed with eagerness. It was finally the right time for them. She had come a long way since the first night they held each other as lovers. It had felt right from the very beginning and she wondered how could she have ignored that. Denying what was there all along had already wasted too much time. Things were crystal clear now and this time she would get it right.

At last, she found Mal, helping Monty load some crates containing fresh produce into the cargo hold. Slowing cautiously as she approached, she looked up at the massive ship that looked like it was nearly ready for departure.

Mal noticed River standing at the entrance of the ship. He tried not to look, but there she was looking more beautiful than ever. Her dark hair hung loosely over a pale yellow sundress that billowed in the breeze. He also noticed that her skin had a deeper tone to it now, no doubt from being out in the sun these past months.

She looked healthy. Her body filled out the dress with a new found curviness and it took all he had to pull his eyes away from her form. She was Jayne's now, and he wasn't going to get in the way of that.

When the last crate had been stacked, Mal dusted his hands on his jacket and addressed his friend. "That's about the last of it. Ready when you are. Kaylee an' the doc are stayin' behind. Trust you'll let us borrow your mechanic to get Serenity up an' runnin' again?

"Will do. That is, if she's still 'n attendance." The larger man exclaimed.

Mal raised his eyebrows at the man. "Got two of your very capable men guarding her. We better hope, or you're out a pair."

River couldn't believe her eyes. She watched helplessly as Mal made his plans to leave without her. Her lead-heavy heart felt like it had dropped to her toes as he continued to ignore her presence.

A heavy haze swept over her body as she realized that he didn't care for her anymore. Fate was dealing the most fitting punishment for her crime. Tears unconsciously spilled down her cheeks as she just stood there, feeling like someone on the outside looking in.

As if in a dream, she turned away. There was no way she could bear to watch while Mal took off into the sky. She had to get away quickly, be anywhere other than in this day.

---

Jayne stalked up to the ship, his imposing mass commanding attention. "What the ruttin' hell is goin' on!"

Mal looked flabbergasted. "Uh, we're gettin' ready to make way."

"Girl just ran past me in tears. What'd you do?" He bellowed.

"Didn't do nothing other than load up. Shouldn't you be runnin' after her or something?" Mal casually instructed as he kept himself busy securing the cargo. He had to keep his mind occupied just a bit longer, at least until they were off world.

Jayne's face wrinkled up in confusion. "Huh? Gorramit Mal, quit playin' games."

The captain let out a breath of annoyance as he secured the last strap in place. "Let me put it simple so as you can understand. You see your girl cryin', you run after her."

"One problem with that. She ain't my girl ta be runnin' after. But hey, if you don't want her, mebbie I can take another stab at it."

Mal was taken aback. He had plainly and clearly seen River lead Jayne by the hand to god knows where last night. It tore him up to have to see that, so much so that he had quietly slipped away early from the festivities. He needed to take a nice, long, moonlit walk to mull things over.

During his trek, he decided that no matter how he felt, he wasn't going to interfere with the girl's happiness, and if that was with Jayne, so be it. Except what the merc was now saying seemed to contradict that notion.

Jayne stood back and watched as Mal finally caught on and shook his head. "She don't want me, dumb ass. She wants you. We was sayin' good bye."

Mal's ears were ringing pleasantly as the meaning of Jayne's words fully sunk in. "Huh. How about that." He smiled smugly. Then it faded as another thought entered his head. "Whaddya mean you was sayin' good bye? What does that mean exactly?"

Jayne smirked. "Yer wastin' time. The girl's prolly all heartbroken, thinkin' ya don't want her, and yer busy worryin' 'bout what ya don't need ta be worryin' on anymore."

Motivated by a new rush of adrenalin, Mal snapped out of that train of thought and immediately went into action. "Right. Where's Zoë?" He looked around the cargo bay before shouting at the top of his lungs, "Zoë! Where the Sam hell are you at?"

His second in command came up hurriedly from the back of the ship, looking anxious as she eyed the larger man standing next to him wearily. "What is it, Sir? You need me to deal with Jayne again?

"As if." Jayne scoffed, crossing his arms pompously across his chest.

Zoë raised her eyebrow and looked Jayne up and down. "You know I can hurt you."

"There will be no hurtin' going on." Mal said as he smirked. Yep, he was going to miss this. He looked pointedly at Jayne and then Zoë as he made the revelation he had been contemplating for some time now. "Need ya'll to get along since you're going to be crewin' my ship together."

"Sir?"

"Serenity's yours, Zoë." Mal announced proudly. "You've been loyal to me far as I can remember. 'Bout time you have somethin' of your own. Jayne gets 25 for not being too much of a pain in the ass."

Zoe nodded her thanks, a wall as always, but Mal knew she was glowing inside. Jayne didn't know what to think, other than maybe the captain wasn't such a prick after all.

Mal turned to his hired gun now made second in command. "Now Jayne, I don't want you murderin' Zoe in her sleep just so as you can take over. 'Cause, you know, she can hurt you."

Jayne smirked as he eyed Zoe contemplatively. "Wouldn't think of it."

"So, you'll be stayin' then, sir. For good?" Zoë inquired, wondering if and when she might ever see Mal again.

"I am." He affirmed, never more certain. "Gettin' to old for the thieving business. Had the notion I might try my hand at some honest work for a change."

Mal began to back out of the ship, owning the widest grin Zoe had ever seen on the captain. " 'Sides, did ya hear? I got myself a girl."

---

River ran and didn't stop until she heard the roar of Monty's ship lift into the sky and then the deafening sound faded away along with all of her strength.

Dropping to the ground, she curled against the earth and freed the wall of tears she'd been holding. The time that passed no longer seemed important. She had lost everything.

Just like in his dream, he found her crying in the middle of the field, her face hidden behind massive amounts of hair as she pressed it to the earth.

Except, this time it was all sunny, there were no mist or trees, and her dress was yellow not white.

He knelt down by her side and placed his hand on her heaving back. He could feel the warmth of her body through his hand. She was so fragile under his touch.

Mal smiled as he spoke affably. "You're acting like you went and lost the love of your life or somethin'. Can't be all that bad, darlin'. Heard the guy was a bit of an _hun dan_, anyways."

River sat straight up, coming face to face with Mal, a look of shock adorning her dirty, tear-streaked face. Reaching out, she grabbed a hold of him to make sure he was real. After all, she had listened to the ship take off with her captain in it.

As it fully sank in, River let out a sob and flung herself against Mal, almost knocking him back. He laughed as he steadied himself and took her up in his arms, kissing the top of her sun-baked head.

They stayed like this for a while, enjoying the gratifying feeling of just holding one another. River continued to cry and mutter inaudible things into his chest, soaking his shirt. Mal stroked the back of her hair and held her as tight as he could without squeezing the life out of her. "Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere."

River nodded her head against him and slowly released her grip, looking up at him with red, puffy eyes. Mal cupped her face and leaned down, kissing her cool, damp cheeks. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips spark against her skin. Slowly, he worked the small kisses towards her mouth until he found her lips, kissing her long and deep.

As they became submerged in the moment, in the long awaited and desperately needed contact, the tender warmth generated from their sweet tasting kiss radiated slowly throughout their bodies, blanketing their skin with the heat of all the love they ever felt for one another.

Softly, their lips broke apart and they shared a smile of understanding and newfound happiness. River reached up and brushed her fingers lightly across Mal's forehead, touching on his thoughts. "You gave up Serenity."

Mal smiled lovingly down at the girl he cherished more than anything in the 'verse. "Lost my ship's good luck. Couldn't keep her in the air without it." Leaning down, he set his mouth next to her ear and whispered gently. "Seems there's a girl I loved more."

---


	13. Chapter 13

Prologue Mostly Jayne/River with an appearance from the captain.

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It had been damn near four days since the girl had visited his bunk. Regular sexin' had spoiled his drive and turned a greedy man more voracious. She had shattered his focus and his nethers were twitching worse then the girl at her craziest.

For the first couple days he was happy for the break. Sometimes things got a little too claustrophobic, especially with her always flittering around and talking on things he could give a good gorram about.

Now, there was this little antsy feeling in the pit of his gut. Was she done? He hadn't thought much before about where things would lead, but that didn't mean he was ready for them to end.

He tried little brazen ways throughout the day to get her attention, such as pinching her sides as she walked on by or taking a risk at discovery by telling asinine jokes in front of Simon or Zoë, ones he knew only she'd get. He tried whispering dirty things in her ear when no one was around. Usually, the sexy utterances sparked a wide grin from the girl. Except today, he received not a single acknowledgement for his troubles.

Rutting hell. He couldn't think of one reason moon brain might be giving him the cold shoulder. Nothing had changed since they first started a couple months back. Maybe she was unraveling again? Great, just what he needed.

He lay in his bunk thinking long and hard about the past several days. All this thinking was useless. He weren't no mind reader and his head was beginning to throb from it all. He was a man of action, and certainly not scared of the little thing. Flipping his covers off, he pulled on his sleep pants and determinately made his way to River's quarters.

Standing at her door for a long moment, he listened. He wasn't sure what he was waiting for but decided he better get on with it before someone caught him loitering. "Girl, it's me. Let me in." He hissed into the thin mass.

Silence.

Jayne shifted his stance impatiently. "I know yer in there, can hear ya breathin' all quick like, now open up.

More silence.

He placed his fingers in the niche before announcing his entry. "Well, like it or not, I'm comin' in. Better not have one of yer fits or attack me from behind, just wanna talk." He slid the door opened and closed it behind him, scanning the small room cautiously while his eyes adjusted to the dark. He could sense her on lying still on the bed and could hear her attempt to steady her breathing.

Taking a seat next to the blanketed lump, he placed his hand on what felt like her back and nudged her a bit. He could feel her body shift beneath him, turning from her side to lay flat on her stomach. "C'mon, girl. Why ain't ya speakin' to me?" He implored gently.

The tick, tick of her old-fashion wall clock was the only sound to fill the void.

Jayne sighed, annoyed. He was losing his patience quickly. "Just say something', moony." He tried to pull the blanket down but she yanked it back up stubbornly, causing him to flash. "Yer driving me nuts, girl! Well, nuttier than usual. Yer always jabberin', can't get ya to shut yer mouth most of the time. It don't make no sense." He exasperated.

Again nothing. The ticking of the clock was taunting him, laughing at his failure. Jayne plopped his feet up on the bed and lay back with his hands behind his head. If she was going to play games, he could play them right back. "Well, I ain't leavin'. You can just lay there all stiff like."

The clock ticked by, minutes passing uncomfortably until they blended together with Jayne's drowsiness. Just as he began to drift off, he was startled awake by the small mouse of a voice next to him. "You don't see me."

"Umm?" He jolted slightly and shook himself awake, groggily registering her words. Turning towards River, he propped his head up on one elbow. "Sure I do. See ya every ruttin' day."

"You don't see my insides." Her voice was muffled from beneath the blanket.

Jayne wrinkled his face up. "Why would I wanna do that fer?"

River's stifled tone became louder with emotion. "I'm just an object to you. A shiny weapon to take out and play with. You know how to use me and that excites you. But I'm not like one of your guns. I feel. Feel too much. I'm just a girl who wants you to want more than the shell of her."

Jayne just stared blankly at the covered lump, now fallen silent. "Girl, I don't right know what yer goin' on about."

"You hide me away. Ashamed!" River flipped the blankets off her head and reached for the small light above her bed. Switching it on, she glared at Jayne indignantly.

"You know it ain't that," he tried to reason with the growingly agitated girl, feeling ever so slightly intimidated by her intensity. "Just don't feel the need to git strung up by my balls anytime soon."

Jayne reached over to remove a tress of hair that had fallen across River's face when his hand was stubbornly slapped away for the effort. Unconsciously, he scowled at her. God, how he hated that.

"Brave men make sacrifices." She countered.

Jayne bristled a bit at that. "You callin' me a coward, now?"

"Not a coward." River sat up on her knees and looked determinately at him, as if this might be their breakthrough moment. "Just afraid."

He met her indomitable gaze with a glare of his own. "I ain't scared of nothin', girl."

"Prove it."

Jayne just continued to stare at her, trapped in the moment without a clue as to how to proceed. "Mebbie this were a bad idea."

Swinging his legs off the bed, he got up to leave, but was halted when he heard her tenacious declaration attack him from behind. "Changed my mind. Coward is more fitting a title."

Furiously, he turned around, piercing her with razor sharp eyes. "_I… ain't_… a ruttin' coward." he growled out warningly.

River crossed her arms like a stubborn child and let out a small noise protesting his incredulous denial.

Her reaction spurred his temper on. Balling his fists up, he continued. "You, like all women-folk, just expect too much is all. Knew what ya were gettin' when ya hopped on fer the ride. Don't be changin' things 'round now!"

River was unfazed; after all, she had been stewing on these emotions for days. Everything was absolutely clear. "Relationships evolve. Life's natural progression. You're stagnant."

"Stag-what?" Jayne let out an impatient breath. Not only was the girl demanding, she never made any rutting sense! The whole thing was doomed from the start. What was he thinking starting something with a girl who didn't even say things like a normal person?

The room was suddenly feeling a hell of a lot smaller than it already was. He felt like he was being suffocated, tied down by nothing more than a 90-pound girl. "Well, we obviously ain't seein' things eye-to-eye, that's fer dang certain. Spend more time fightin' than, sexin'. Think it'd be best we end things now. Shouldn't have right started in the first place." Jayne felt a pang of regret as the words tumbled out of his mouth.

River's bottom lip trembled as she desperately fought to hold on to her dignity. "If that's what you want."

Jayne took in the little thing on the bed, swimming in his shirt and couldn't believe she wasn't putting up a fight. "Really?"

River felt the hot sting of tears and wished he'd hurry up and leave before he saw her cry. "Do not wish to hinder you from happiness. You're free to go."

"This some sorta mind trick?" Damn girl was always using psychology on him and here she most likely was doing it again.

"For a man who wants out, you stall nicely." River said simply, trying to sound unaffected as if she weren't really dying inside.

"Whatever. I want my shirts back, including the one ya got on." Jayne snapped, hurt that the girl could care less that it was over. Sure, he was the one who said the words and mostly meant them, but he expected more of a fight from her, instead, she was just lying down, giving up.

River hopped off her bed and calmly walked over to her bureau piling four of Jayne's shirts over her arm, purposely leaving his favorite one behind. Passively, she strutted over to him and handed the clothes over without making eye contact.

If she looked at him now, she'd break down into tears. Then cold-hearted Cobb would win, and she couldn't handle seeing the satisfaction in his eyes on top of everything else.

She turned away with the sudden need to crawl back into bed, when Jayne halted her with his superior-like proclamation. "Na uh, girly. Yer forgettin' one."

River turned back to the smug-faced merc, anger prickling her skin as she took in his haughty demeanor. He was enjoying this, the sadistic bastard. Gathering her composure she decided she wasn't going to allow him to get the better of her.

Resolutely meeting his eyes, she very gradually lifted the shirt past her thighs, slowly revealing white cotton panties, up over her firm, slender navel, past a pair of very perky naked breasts, and then finally up over her head. She shook her hair free as she dangled the clothing before the dazed mercenary.

River tossed her long hair back over her shoulder making sure to give him a nice unobstructed view of what he'd be missing. "Need anything else?"

Gorramit! He should have seen that one coming. You ask the girl to take off _your_ shirt, she's gonna be naked. Sometimes he forgot just how tasty her little body looked, all supple and firm, especially when she was hidden underneath them big old shirts of his.

He just stood there, frozen in lust, his eyes roaming, combing every exquisite inch of her. The light at her back silhouetted her curves, swelling and concaving in all the right places, her pale skin appearing luminous.

Jayne unconsciously wet his lips. The urges from the past several days overwhelmed his body with voracious hunger, rendering him into an impulsive stupor. As he grabbed the dangling shirt, taunting him with its smugness, he yanked it hard, pulling River to him right along with it.

River yelped in surprise as she landed in his overpowering arms, her lithe body pressed firmly against his. She could feel his excitement as it pressed hard into her stomach, instantly inundating her with longing.

Logic distraughtly argued with her inner desires. Placing her fists against his bare chest in resistance, she cried out. "No. You don't deserve this!"

With one large hand splayed against the small of her back he pulled her closer against his rock-hard body and attacked her graceful neck with his lips. The contact melted her willpower as his hot mouth sent the most wonderful sensation crawling across her skin. "I know." He mumbled against her neck. It was faint, but she heard the words loud and clear.

"I hate you." She panted weakly.

He had worked his way towards her breasts now and she leaned her head back, allowing him access. Taking one tender bud in his mouth, he sucked and nibbled gently before devouring the next. "I know." he responded again, absentmindedly and gloriously occupied.

Jayne firmly grabbed River's round bottom and lifted her up as she automatically wrapped her long legs around him. He turned them, pressing her fervently against the wall.

The fuzzy hair on his chest tickled her as he ground his throbbing erection steadily against her aching center. Overcome with the sudden want to be inside her, he hastily reached behind her with both hands and tore the obstructive panties from her body. Then he eagerly pulled the string on his sleep pants and let them fall around his ankles, his excitement barefaced at being so close to his prize.

Grabbing a hold of his large, throbbing cock, he rubbed it against her slick entrance, moaning at the raw sensitivity the feeling generated, before finding home and slowly pushing his way in. Her body engulfed his girth like tight, hot silk and he had to burrow his mouth in her neck to muffle a thunderous groan.

River whimpered as he filled her, causing her ache to deepen with each slight movement. It was as if they were suddenly both reminded just how good it felt to be intimately connected. Her fingers tightened around the back of his neck, clinging on for dear life.

Looking fiercely into her deep-brown eyes, he placed his large hands securely on her hips and drove himself urgently into her tight heat. He watched hungrily as her pretty face contorted with pleasure.

River maintained eye contact from beneath lust-heavy lids, his animalistic blues putting her into a trance as her body slid up and down against the wall with each powerful thrust.

The small room was spinning with mounting gratification. Soft moans and deep grunts filled the air along with the heat of their desire for one another.

Something massive and unstoppable was building as Jayne plunged wildly into the source of his every-waking fantasy, the girl who had since crawled into his head and wouldn't quit. Her little body felt so good gripping onto his massive one, squeezing the life out of his pulsating member as he plunged deeper and deeper, chasing the wondrous sensation to climax.

River's grip loosened, so she dug her nails deep into the muscles of Jayne's back to keep steady, her frantic kisses to his neck and broad shoulders turning into sharp little bites as her body strained under the pressure the immense friction was creating. She could feel him thickly slide in and out, and every time the base of their bodies connected, a shock of pleasure gripped every part of her.

It was all becoming too much as she pleaded for release, crying his name over and over as he slammed his hips into hers and with one final, tremendous thrust, his throaty groan propelled her towards liberation. It took everything she had not to scream out as a tidal wave of pleasure burned her body from the inside out.

Jayne buried himself deep inside her as his orgasm crested, jolts of concentrated satisfaction spilling hotly within as his body spasmed violently. When it was over, he held himself there, panting her name, her real one.

River's whole body tingled with gratification and she wished that just this once he'd meet her lips and kiss her, make everything they had just experienced real. She ignored the pang in her heart when he didn't, but he did the next best thing and carried her over to the bed and wrapped his warm, sweaty body around hers. River smiled as he pulled her close like a childhood blanket and they drifted off into slumber.

It seemed like only a second of sleep had ticked by when she heard the captain's voice booming through the ship. "Albatross! Shift started an hour prior an' I know you ain't still sleeping!"

River's heart rate sped up as she could hear both his voice and footsteps grow louder with proximity. Captain wouldn't burst in here uninvited would he? Panic ensued as she realized that's what he did best.

Jumping up, she heard Jayne stir behind her and then let out a string of obscenities as he realized the situation. River turned back to him and warningly put a finger to her lips, silently gesturing to him to hide under the sheets.

Just as Mal's hand reached River's door to yank it open, she slid it open a foot and peeked her messy head of hair out. "Good morning, captain." She chirped, giving him the most unsuspecting and beautiful smile she could muster as her heart pounded, pumping fear induced adrenaline throughout her body.

Quickly, she continued on before the captain could speak or barge his way in. "I was just about to dress. Currently, I'm in a state of complete nudity. Wanna see?"

Mal's eyes widened and his face grew red at the unexpected invitation. "Um." He cleared his throat and tried again. "I trust that's a fact, lil one. No need for confirmation. Just hurry it along, ain't like you to be tardy."

"The situation will be rectified shortly." River kept up her pretty smile for him.

Mal began to walk away, slightly confused by the incongruity of the girl's behavior, when he turned back. "You haven't seen Jayne, have you? Man's gone AWOL."

Her skin was burning with anxiety. "No." She practically squeaked. "Not in here." River affirmed innocently as she stuck out her arm and a part of her bare shoulder. "Naked, remember?"

Mal raised his eyebrows. "Didn't forget that little detail, darlin. You just work on not being so, while I hunt down my other fugitive."

"Ok, bye." River slammed the door shut and leaned against it, finally filling her lungs with sweet oxygen. After Jayne finished tying up his pants, they made eye contact and she noticed he looked fractious. "You're mad at me."

"Whaddya have ta go an' tell him you were nekkid fer?" The man pouted as he picked one of his shirts off the floor and pulled it on.

River leaned her head to the side as if she were reasoning with a child. "Quick diversion. Giving you time to facilitate escape plan, dummy."

Jayne picked up the rest of his shirts and stuffed them back into River's drawer as he continued to gripe. "Still. Now he's picturing you all nekkid, an' nobody gets to do that but me."

River rolled her eyes at her overly jealous, secret lover. "Your worries are not valid."

River turned back to the door, where the embarrassed captain had just been, and wrapped her arms around her naked body as a shiver prickled her skin with goose bumps.

In a trance, she mumbled just above a whisper, "Highly doubt the Captain would ever think of me in _that_ way."


	14. Chapter 14

Epilogue Mostly Mal/River

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The monotone buzzing of crickets echoed through the still, midsummers air. The atmosphere was thick, humid, dry, and scorching all at the same time. River worked steadily, scraping the dry mud from the worn crevices of her horse's old shoe. Her labored breaths drew in the pungent smells from the sun-baked earth and muggy barn, the mixture of odors mutually foul and nauseatingly sweet.

The intense heat caused the sweat to pool along her bare neck and trickle down her spine, the sensation reminding her of gentle fingers sliding down her back. At the suggestive thought, she puffed away the loose strands of hair that had fallen across her face and looked up from shoeing her horse to scan the yard for a bare-chested Mal.

In the past hour, he hadn't moved from his position helping Mr. Fry and Simon repair a fence damaged by the last thunderstorm. A leathered cowboy hat rested low over his brow, which was knitted in concentration as he knelt down on one knee, hammering away at a fence post.

The mere sight of him submerged her in endorphins, and in that solitary moment, the heat, pain and discomfort of the day were lost in the natural rush.

Turning her attention back to her horse, River gently let down the animal's hoof, and calmingly slid her hand up the creature's powerful leg and patted its rear as she thanked her for her patience.

She had named the animal after Jayne, and whenever she spent time with her, she couldn't help but think of him. The small ember in her heart told her he was alive and she hoped that instinctual spark would always remain.

Occasionally, she wondered how different things would be if she had ultimately chosen to be with the merciless killer. A smile haunted her lips, because deep down she knew he would have tried in his way to make her happy.

Her love for him had been set free, but there would always be a part of her that he owned, and that part could never forget him.

River sighed as her reflections faded away and her corporeal needs caught up with her. She felt heavy and weighed down, her mouth uncomfortably parched. Making her way to the water pump, she first washed the dirt from her hands before cupping the cool water to her lips and letting the revitalizing substance trickle down her throat. The last handful she used to splashed across her face and neck, appreciating the brief but refreshing relief from the heat.

Standing upright, she magnetically returned her gaze to Mal, appreciating with acute detail the way his muscles strained and contracted with each swinging motion. Every time the hammerhead made solid contact, the sharp clang jolted her heart and awakened every nerve in her body. The ready woman in her languished at the sight, a man hers by vow but not confirmed by the physical.

The weeks past had her on pins and needles. Pent up desire and longing overwhelmed her thoughts and she often found herself lost in a trance of enticing fantasy.

Waves of his yearning often flooded her mind as well, and on occasion, one glance her way would send her body reeling, trembling uncontrollably with want.

She had always been a physical creature, connecting with the world around her through touch and sensation, desperately trying to reconnect with all that had abandoned her. This deprivation was a new kind of cruel and she didn't know how much longer she could respect the Frye's old-fashioned wishes for them to remain abstinent while in their home.

Every night after the house had fallen asleep, Mal had crept down the dark, narrow hall, stealthily opening the old-creaky door to River's room, and eagerly slipped into bed beside her.

Once she felt his body encompass hers, every tense muscle relaxed as she sank into the pleasant abyss of strong arms and a fast beating heart.

Sometimes his lips would trail across her neck and find her lips, a sweet and long awaited haven after a hard day's work. Hands would work themselves over arching, clothed bodies, eagerly keening to the slightest touch. Each night they ventured a bit farther, bordering dangerously close to the precipice.

In the heat of the moment, it was almost easy not to care, rebels born to break the rules, but a fine line of guilt always formed the final barrier between right and rapture. Kaylee's parents had been kind enough to offer them a place to stay. At the very least, they could respect their wishes.

Mal finished driving in the last nail and stood up, slowly stretching out the kink in his sore back. Taking a work rag out of his pocket, he wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead before searching the grounds for the little leggy creature he was already beginning to miss.

He quickly found her leaning up against the side of the barn in the protection of the shade, looking inquisitively at him. His insides smiled at the sight of her, hair piled high, and her thin, white sundress mucked up by ranch life. Internally, he noted that once he saved up enough, he'd take her in to the city and buy her some new things. He wanted to do nothing more than take care of her, give her the world, no matter how small it was.

It was ironic how uncomplicated his priorities had become now, he was finally experiencing how the other half lived. For once, it felt liberating not having the weight of the 'verse bearing down upon his shoulders.

Mal fought long and hard his whole life for survival. He waded through a treacherous existence seeking only the bare necessities out of life, searching for redemption in all that he had lost along the way.

His journey had been hard and fast, and at the crossroads, everything became a might clearer when he found her on the ample path. Is that what love did to a man? It was always his supposition that it fogged things up, messed with the order of things. Maybe it did and he was too busy living in oblivion to notice.

Life seemed to come full circle. After losing so many that he cared for, no matter how hard he tried to pretend, being in the black no longer felt the same. Too much of him had died along with his family and Serenity felt like a hollow existence of her former glory.

This is not to say he didn't miss his ship, feel the loss of her engine coursing through his veins. Doubts occasionally edged his happiness as experience told him he could never fully be ignorant of life's inability to give a happy ending.

Some days, he questioned his choices as he faced the unknown and a life that hadn't been familiar to him since he was an adolescent, all bright-eyed and bushytailed. A life on world could be equally difficult, if not more arduous, because on land you cannot run and hide from your problems.

However, as he looked at River, he knew that love was no longer a mirage. Even through the heat, the beauty and certainty of her never wavered or faded away. The only thing he was afraid of losing now stood ten paces ahead, and for once in his life he was going to let go of ambiguity and allow his heart to shape things to come.

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Mal proudly threaded his fingers through River's underneath the dining table, her upturned palm resting on her thigh as she balanced her nephew sitting on her lap in her right arm.

The temperateness of the day had gone to all of their heads like a good bottle of moonshine, everyone in an easy, giddy mood. The mirth during supper held a different pitch than that aboard Serenity but it was comprised of equal merriment.

Short bursts of laughter were awarded to the finest jester, and currently, the title was coveted by Colton, who was giving Simon a hard time about his ranching skills.

"Colton! You leave the poor man alone this minute!" Mrs. Frye scolded her son with all the seriousness she could muster, but couldn't help the powerful urge to smile along with the rest of them.

The boy's face was filled with gaiety. "Can't help it, Ma. You shoulda seen him chasin' all them steers into the brush. Had 'em all scattered like church goers come Sunday!" Colton defended as he doubled over, holding his gut in laughter.

Kaylee held her hand over her mouth, poorly concealing her amusement at Simon's expense. At the same time, she felt badly for her husband. He was trying so hard to fit in, but the image of him getting tangled up in the brush, frantically chasing down the cattle was just too adorable to resist a smile or two.

Mal and Mr. Fry were laughing so hard at the hilarious recollection that they had to wipe the tears from their eyes.

"All right, all right. Stop. I admit, I'm a poor equestrian. Are we done now?" Simon appealed, his skin flushed pink with embarrassment.

"Almost, Doc. Hold up." Mal was smirking as he held his finger up and waited out a silent pause for affect, and then conceded. "Alright, done. We've picked ya apart enough for one night. Gotta save some for the 'morrow, anyhow."

"That's very kind of you." Simon responded with a hint of sarcasm.

"I think you were much improved, Simon." River avowed as she looked up from baby she had been occupied with.

Caleb was delicately plucking pieces of food off her plate and carefully tasting them before wrinkling up his little face and with a look of hope, offering the rejected bits up to his aunt instead.

Simon dabbed the corners of his mouth and placed the napkin next to his plate as he smiled gratefully at his sister. "Thank you, River."

River tilted her head and announced proudly as if complementing a small child. "You stayed on the horse this time."

The whole table erupted in laughter once again as Simon just bowed down and shook his head, a hint of a smile on his lips. Startled, Caleb stopped trying to smash bits of bread into River's mouth and curiously looked from face to laughing face, trying to figure out why it suddenly got so loud.

As the hilarity died down, Mal turned to his right and watched as River lifted the baby up and blew raspberries on his little belly, causing him to giggle infectiously.

Conversation resumed around them as he became lost in the moment. Seeing River interact with the little one got him thinking about things he never had much time to contemplate before. Things he never thought he wanted or had resigned to not possess long ago.

It was easy to see the natural mother she'd make and he silently wondered if that sort of life would ever be right for them. As if on cue, River turned to Mal while bouncing Caleb on her knee. She smiled prettily as she leaned in and whispered. "I would like three."

Mal couldn't help an ample smile at her enthusiasm. "Um. Three, now." He drawled out slowly, as if in contemplation. "Would that be all at once, darlin'?" He teased.

A new emotion filled her with delight. The easy acceptance of her request proved that despite her inability in the past to function normally, he saw her as someone capable. His confidence in her helped quell the fear that the confusion might return and spiral her once again into the vortex of her jumbled mind.

Mal draped his arm around across the back of her chair and leaned in, offering a finger to baby Caleb who instantly grabbed it and examined the odd thing with curious fascination.

River felt herself flush as Mal leaned into her personal space, the nearness of him always causing a potent, physical reaction. She watched his features relax and become jovial as he interacted with the little one. Her heart swelled with love at the sight. Impulsively, she bridged the small gap between them and placed a lingering kiss on the corner of his mouth.

As she pulled away, they both gazed at one another as if under some distant spell, and shared a smile that encompassed more than words ever could.

---

River closed her eyes upon Mal's request, and let the silky, flexible material be draped across her eyelids. He securely fastened it in a tight knot behind her head, careful not to tangle her hair. She shivered at his vague touch and the thrill of existing in blackness, in having to rely solely on her trust of him.

The air had cooled dramatically, but the heat left behind rose from the earth and reminded the evening of the day. River breathed in deep, wordlessly calculating how many different odors she could identify as Mal placed his hands on the outside of her bare arms and lead her towards what smelled like his horse.

She felt his warm breath tickle her ear as he spoke next to it. "Now, as tempting as it may be, no peeking." He swept her up in his arms effortlessly, the feeling leaving her spun about.

"Your thoughts are naked. Cannot blindfold the mind." River stated straightforwardly as she wrapped her slim arms around his neck.

Mal cocked his eyebrow at his masked beauty and he placed her foot in the stirrup, guiding her as she swung her leg over the animal and mounted. "If it were that easy, lil one, think it would've saved us a more'n heap once upon a time."

River frowned, he was right. As much as she would like to think she could employ her abilities at will, most of the information that came to her was sporadic and fragmented. Simon had rescued her before they could finish either fine-tuning her metal capabilities or turning her into pure mush.

"A hint?" River asked impatiently from her high perch. Her insides were doing fuzzy flips at the unidentified.

"Nope." Mal answered simply as he carefully positioned himself in the saddle in front of River. His solid presence filled the void and she instinctually wrapped her arms around his waist. Leaning her cheek against the warm fabric of his shirt, she was instantly comforted by his strength.

It felt good to have her hold on so tight as if she desperately needed him to be safe despite her astounding ability for self-preservation. Mal sighed as he resisted the urge to ruin his carefully kept secret and addressed the girl clinging to him.

"Ain't a surprise if ya know the details. Won't be but a spell. You just hold on tight now." He instructed as he kicked his horse firmly and they reared off across the dimming fields.

River snuggled her face against her captain's back and hummed contentedly. They galloped at a steady pace, the wind whipping delightfully through her hair, the velocity of it furthering her excitement.

During the ride, she devoted her time to leisurely inching the front of his shirt from his pants, dutifully searching for skin. When she finally freed the obtructive material and made contact, her nimble hands adroitly worked over the firm, contracting muscles of his abs.

Mal shuddered pleasantly as River smoothed her hands over his stomach and chest, his insides twisting up at her gentle caress. He felt her fingers move upwards and lightly graze his nipples, returning to firmly pinch one, causing him to jump at the stimulation.

He tilted his head back offering a warning to her playful actions. "You're in a world of trouble when we get to."

River giggled and nipped at his back as her hands defiantly roamed south and firmly grabbed his package, squeezing him just enough to merit a groan. A sweet sexiness edged her voice, "Promise?"

Oh, sweet, Buddha, if he could make the animal run any faster he would. It were times like this he missed his mule.

River continued to agonizingly torture him until they reached their destination. It had been so long since they had made love; the anticipation was beyond unbearable. The added teasing was almost dangerous and he hoped he could restrain himself just a bit longer.

Mal jumped down and reached up to pluck his tormenter off the horse, setting her to the ground while verbally amending his mistake. "Next time we ride together, I'm placing you in view."

"Won't work. I bend." River enticed as she looked up blindly, feeling for Mal. She could hear him groan at her words before he grabbed her hard and crushed his lips against hers, milking the sexual tension with fervent lips. Fusing together, nothing tasted sweeter than the true passion that accompanied each languorous movement.

River felt full, soft lips leave hers and then abruptly, she was unmasked and looking straight into violet-blue eyes, made soft by the crinkle around them. "Turn around," he commanded gently.

Hesitantly pulling her gaze from doting eyes, she turned slowly and halted, staring up in curious fascination. Before her stood the most unseemly little house, but to her it was picture perfect. River turned back to Mal giving him a thousand watt smile.

"Go on, have a peek." He urged as he placed the key in her palm. She looked at the thing a moment before turning and dashing eagerly up the rickety steeps. He followed behind, eager for her reaction as she thrust the key inside the lock and opened the heavy door.

River looked around in wonder as she found the inside was nothing like the exterior. There was fresh wood adorning the walls and some pieces of newer furniture filling the open space. It looked and smelled like a real home.

Mal spoke as she continued her quiet exploration. "Been sneaking out here with various accomplices, wanted to make the place livable in the very least for ya. Figured we could work on the outside come last." Mal declared as he eyed her for a response, hoping it would do. When she was quiet still, he continued. "Couldn't wait to share our new start. So, here we are."

River was overwhelmed by everything. It was more than she ever dreamed and suddenly she was overcome with guilt. Stepping forward, she pensively fingered the quaint little dining table before turning back to Mal with tears her shining in her eyes and looked down. "Don't deserve all this. I'm not worthy of you."

Mal was taken aback. "What? Why would you go an' say something like that for?" He questioned tenderly, astonished by her sudden change in demeanor. This wasn't the exact reaction he had planned for, something more along the lines of glee and a hell of a lot of kissing to be exact.

"Because it's true!" River cried, unable to meet his eyes and feeling suddenly undeserving of his gorgeous blues. "I was untrue." She whispered conspiratorially, conviction edging her voice.

As she continued to explain herself, she grew increasingly agitated, her voice rising with the intensity of her emotion. "Tore the hole deeper. Inserted the knife and twisted." Finally, River raised her ashamed eyes to his. "How you could still want me?"

Mal stepped forward and grabbed River firmly, pulling her tight as her legs gave out, her whole body weak with culpability. He leaned his head down, resting his forehead atop of her sweet smelling hair, and closed his eyes.

"You gave up the stars, liberation. Captains aren't meant for domestication. It's all my fault!" She mumbled as she continued to sob against him. Mal remained quiet, trying to find the words to dispute her reservations, to stop her from unnecessarily feeling the way she did.

He had been hurt deeply, but only because he had cared for her like no other. He didn't blame her for the way things played out and she needed to know that no matter what she said or did, he could never feel anything but complete and utter adoration for her.

Pulling back, he gently grabbed her quivering chin and forced her to look up at him. "Look here, lil one. I ain't ever been one to do something against my will. All of this, being here with you, is all I want now. What's past is past. I've made my fair share of mistakes. Spent even longer beatin' myself up over 'em, t'aint ever done nothin' but make me old and bitter."

He smiled warmly as he rubbed his thumb soothingly against her pale cheek, melting her insides away with both his reassurance and magnificence. "I don't regret a bit of it, River. 'Cause if I did, if one thing had been changed, I wouldn't be standing here gettin' all cried on. An' you know how I like myself a weeping lil' ball of cryin' girl. The best kind there is."

River let out a chuckle of relief and briefly closed her eyes, trying to regain her composure as she slowly reopened them and looked deep into the face of the man she so desperately wanted to be worthy of. His strong voice and affectionate avowal had given her back some of the confidence she had lost.

Reaching up, she curled her little fingers around the hand gripping her chin, and tilted her face into it, basking in the warmth of his touch. "Wasted so much time, not being with you."

Mal's smile was tender as he spoke, a million different emotions swirling around his heart. "Well, then, best not to be wastin' it. We got a plenty makin' up to do."

---

River stood before Mal in their small bedroom upstairs, the moonlight streaming its way in and spotlighting the young thing as she slowly and deliberately removed her clothing for the seemingly self-possessed man sitting on the bed.

Her movements were graceful, the simple act of undressing like an exquisite dance. Under the cover of shadows, Mal unconsciously held in his breath as he hung onto every subtle movement, his gaze full of restless longing.

Piece by piece the garments noiselessly piled around her feet, like the falling of delicate petals, until the soft glow of the night was the only thing dressing her skin.

Standing up, Mal reached for her, yearning to feel her smooth, naked skin under his hands, to cause her to feel the same pleasure he received by just having her stand there all bare and vulnerable and his.

Gently pushing his hand down, River shook her head, nodding at his current state of dress, silently requesting a similar show.

A sexy smirk adorned his face as buttons were loosened, trousers dropped and boxers pulled free, leaving behind a body even the gods would both envy and desire.

Owning an adorable lopsided grin, River stepped closer and seductively ran a lone finger down the length of Mal's sculpted torso, causing him to twitch slightly under her fingertip. Captivated by the view, River chewed on her bottom lip as she marveled at the beauty of the man before her.

As her finger skimmed down smooth, golden skin, she stopped mischievously at his pubic hair before looking up and deadlocking their eyes together. Bravely, she held his gaze, piercing him with self-assurance, and continued down further, lightly tracing his hardened extremities with her elusive touch.

Mal closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, barely able to contain himself as her contact became more explorative and unyielding, her soft hand stroking, causing him to become intensely hard.

Suddenly, her hand was gone and leaving him a fiend, already missing her concentrated attention. As Mal opened his eyes to look around, his quick search produced only empty, dim space, until he was inundated by warmth, wetness and aching all at once.

A moan came out more like a gasp as she engulfed most of his well-endowed length into her mouth. His hand automatically rested on top of soft hair as he desperately entangled his fingers trying to grab a hold of anything to ground him to the moment. Hot white sparks shot behind his heavy lids as his eyes rolled back in his head, the incredible sensation sending him into nirvana.

His body throbbed painfully as the innate need to feel her little body writhe beneath his overpowered him. The want to fully and wondrously posses all of her dominated every rousing thought as she adeptly worked him into a lust-filled frenzy.

He could feel the pleasure culminating, his desire wanting to be freed from the suppression within. Not ready let go, Mal grabbed River's slim shoulders and pulled her up to his lips, kissing her with every fiber of his being.

River moaned at the force and power of his kiss and pressed her body strongly against his. The feeling of bare contact further heightened the dizzy feeling submerging the pair in reverie.

Mal slid his fingers up through the back of River's hair, cupping her head to deepen the kiss, both taking turns sucking and pulling on tender lips. She broke away first, breathless and determined, a wild look in her eye as if the kiss had awakened something primal.

Gently pushing Mal back into his sitting position on the bed, River moved to straddle him and resumed the oral play. Mal progressed his exploration down her neck as River leaned her head to the side and closed her eyes, basking in the beautiful sensation.

Flipping them over, Mal lay on his side as he continued down to her breasts, mauling the soft flesh hungrily, causing her to arch delightfully in response to his attentiveness. As teeth grazed and sucked her swollen nipples, Mal slid his hand slowly up the inside of her tender thighs and stopped at the apex, lightly grazing her there. River whimpered and then moaned deeply as he pressed down harder, dipping his fingers at her opening and slickly rubbing the overly sensitive area.

River twisted her body under his touch, impatient to be filled, ravished and loved. "Mal." She whispered pleadingly as he moved his body in between her legs at command. Resting his weight on his forearms, he held himself just above so he could look deep into her luminous eyes, wanting to connect in every way possible.

As he pushed into her, he watched her handsome face contort with gratification, her lips parting slightly as they fit together achingly snug. Moving his hips leisurely, he marveled in the soft-warmth as it gripped every throbbing inch of him.

River slowly moved her hips to meet his. The deliberate and agonizing pace felt more beautiful, more deep than any other sensation she'd experienced before this. Perhaps now because their love was raw and exposed, revealed blatantly in their eyes, that it made every movement, every touch, every kiss and proclamation that much more satisfying.

She felt tears prickling her eyes and when Mal noticed the shine, a slight panic reverberated in his heart and he stilled his movement, resting deep inside of her. Smoothing her hair back, his face was full of concern. "Am I hurting you?"

River shook her head and smiled reassuringly as she as she traced his lips with her fingertips. "You make me feel real, whole. I want to feel this way always. Good things are always fated to pass," she confessed sadly.

Mal kissed her briefly before looking at her with the utmost gravity. "Unless you know somethin' I don't, lil' one, you got no reason to worry. I ain't going nowhere without a fight."

Tracing his fingers down her cheek, he thought contemplatively a moment before continuing. "Now that I have you, pity the fool that aims to interfere with us gettin' all old and fugly together."

River cracked a devious smile. "You will age long before I."

A wide grin spread across Mal's handsome face. "That so?"

His lovely girl nodded in affirmation. "Yes, but don't worry, I'll love you despite the gray." She wiggled anxiously beneath him, reminding them of their intimate situation. "Now move them hips, old man." River slapped him hard on the bottom, the painful echo bouncing off the walls. "You can't keep a girl waiting."

"So bossy." Mal teased. "I'm gonna take care of that little sassy mouth of yours."

River giggled as he leaned down, meeting her in a sumptuous kiss, and thrust deeper, returning them to ecstasy.

Fini


End file.
